[Free
Talk: According to this post in baidu, Kono
Oto Tomare readers, there is no chapter for this month since the mangaka
took an unexpected? break. The comments mention about the mangaka’s health so
maybe she isn’t feeling well.]
All dressed-up Kasane nervously looks at
the mirror then she looks down. She quickly goes out of the house and sees a
couple of women talking outside. The women look surprised at her. Kasane nods
to acknowledge them then she turns to leave.
One of the women says that she [Kasane]
usually just nods at them as a greeting...did she [other woman] talk with her
[Kasane]? The other woman says no, and she always felt that she [Kasane] is a
very terrifying person, isn’t she?
Soon, Kasane felt uneasy while riding in the
crowded train. She takes a deep breath when she got out of the [suffocating] train.
She bumps into someone so she quickly apologizes. Along with the other passers-by,
the man stare at her. He clicks his tongue and goes on his way. Kasane just
stand there as the other people go about their way.
Kasane arrives at the theater. She slips up
her name card [for attendance] and heads to the studio. During practice, Iku
narrates her lines, “Yoi, Yoi, thou art truly stupid. Unexpectedly, refusing my
radiance.”
Kasane starts to say her lines, “Ake...
Ake, Ake, thou art truly hateful...thou do not know a thing...” Worried Kingo
tells Kasane to stop because no one can hear her voice... Iku looks surprised
while the others are muttering among themselves.
Kasane apologizes and says, please let her
try it one more time. Kingo says no, the two leads and the other actors will
separate from each other in their reading of the lines. “After one hour, let us
practice as a whole again, okay?”
While Kingo is talking with the other
actors, Kasane and Iku are reading their lines together. Iku notices how
frustrated and tense Kasane is. Iku tries to cheer her up by saying that there
is still plenty of time for the rehearsal so take her time.
“You still aren’t used to using your own
real appearance in acting, right? ...besides, you’re not the only one who is
troubled. No matter how I acted, I still cannot get rid of Saki’s ‘Ake’. I
definitely cannot act out that kind of shocking feeling. So, we are facing the
same problem. Let us search together our ‘Ake’ and ‘Yoi’...”
Kasane suddenly shouts that she’s noisy to
death!!! This surprises Kingo, Iku and the others. Kasane says, “Ah...no...sorr...”
This made an actor angrily shout, “Hey! Be a bit tactful!! Obviously you are
holding everyone back!!” Kingo shouts for Takatsu [guesswork from 高津] to calm down a bit.
Scowling Takatsu says, “Then again, why did
you set up that kind of actress as the lead!!” A woman says, “That’s right, let
us not first talk about whether she can act or not, don’t you feel making this
child act out the ‘ugly witch’...is a bit pitiful?”
Someone agrees with her. Takatsu [probably]
says, “Furthermore, compared to ‘Ake’, instead to ‘Yoi’, it is more obvious
that this play is making one feel that something is wrong [/fishy going on].”
Kingo shouts for them to stop talking and
concentrate on their own roles! “That’s enough, everyone back to your
positions!!” Iku tells Kasane not to mind what the others say, and she [Kasane]
only has to bring out her real strength...
Kasane interrupts her and says that she
knows that Iku is treating and facing her sincerely. “But, for me, your
kindness...is simply like poison. Even if you are involved in this, I’m really
sorry but please just concentrate on your own role from now on. Apart from
this, you cannot help me.” Iku just looks surprised as she couldn’t say
anything.
At her apartment, Kasane is busy reading
her lines. Narration: “Earlier on, I already know the lines thoroughly in my
heart, Not only ‘Yoi’, I remember all of the actors [lines]. *throws the script
on the mirror* Voice and body are already ready. There is no anomaly at all.”
“I simply don’t know... if I should use
Nina’s lovely and moving lips, if I should use Saki’s cool and elegant eyes...
How should I smile, What kind of eye expression should I use, I do not need to
ponder on this since I can just naturally express it out...
...But right now, how should I move this
twisted facial muscle and stitched up skin? What kind of image am I in front of
the audience? This is actually quite scary that I basically won’t dare imagine
it---”
Kasane is surprised that the spotlight is
flashed on her. On the stage, she is shocked to find herself in front of the
audience. They all start to shout, “Die! Die! Die!” Trembling and teary-eyed
Kasane shouts, “No...Don’t! Don’t say it anymore...”
Kasane becomes her younger self. She sees a
figure wearing high heels. She calls out, mama... She looks at the backstage
but no one is there. The audience continue to shout, “Die! Die! Die!”
Stretching out her hand, Kasane says, “I don’t want...this... Who’ll come...and
save...”
Ding Dong. Kasane opens her eyes wide.
Sweating from her nightmare, Kasane hears knocks and someone calling out,
“Hey--” Putting a robe on, Kasane opens the door and calls out to Kingo. Kingo
says, “Yo. ...For that kind of thing to happen yesterday, I’m guessing that you
probably don’t want to come today. So, I’m here to drag you out.”
Kasane is speechless then she shouts why he
is going inside the house. Kingo tells her that there’s no need to receive him
[/treat him with something to drink/eat as a guest]. Sitting down by the table,
he tells her he’ll drive her over [to the studio] so quickly fix herself up.
Kasane scowls and exclaims what’s up with
him. She goes to the toilet and slams the door close. Kingo quietly looks at
the room. Kasane stands in front of the sink. The mirror in front of her is
covered with a cloth. Kasane comes out and takes a coat from the rack.
She is looking down as she cannot barely
look at herself on the mirror. Kingo calls out, “Hey, look [at it] again a bit
more seriously!” About to put on her coat, Kasane asks, huh? She is shocked
when he suddenly puts his hand on her head and shouts, “Quit dillydallying!” He
puts his other hand on Kasane’s shoulder and pushes her down. Kasane shouts,
“Hey! What are you doing...”
Making her face the mirror, Kingo asks,
“Can you see it? Can you see the ‘witch’s figure? Because of her ugliness, the
witch was deprived of everything when she was born. She has no friends, no
family and she also cannot obtain love.”
“Despised by everyone and had lived a
lifetime of solitude. *pulls up one side of Kasane’s mouth as he presses down
her head* The her like this can only lament at the world and the people to end
this life, right? No— She’s afraid of being hated. Fierce, showing one’s fangs,
angrily staring at everything from the bottomless abyss. Just like you for a
long time now.”
Looking at her angry expression, Kasane
asks if her ‘anger’ is like this in the eyes of everyone? Letting go of her
mouth, Kingo says, yes. “Yesterday, too. Whether angry or happy, no matter who
you are, you generally won’t see your own image at that time.”
“But, as an actress you must look. Because
your looks, your body and your voice are all your acting stage props. –at the
same time, I, as the director... it is a thing I need to focus attention on.
I’m not looking at that dead woman (imagination) rather, using flesh and blood
to look at this living you (reality).”
Comment: Kasane is obviously struggling with normalizing her life. It
doesn’t help that she couldn’t look at herself on the mirror which is a step on
accepting and loving herself. She still fears what and how people thinks of
her.
Ironically, she is lashing out her
frustration on someone who is being kind to her. ^^; Hm...perhaps, she isn’t
use to people being kind to her? ^^;; So, perhaps, she’ll pull herself together
after Kingo ‘roughed’ her up a bit and give her that talk.
From what Kingo is saying, it seems that
Kasane’s subconscious attitude/aura towards others is putting others off. In a
way, Kasane has this invisible wall set-up to also protect herself which
ironically puts a distance between her and others especially those who aren’t
as nice and understanding like Iku.
It makes me wonder if in the end, the goal
is for Kasane to revert back to how she was when she was young. The time when
she isn’t filled with anger and hatred which probably made her mother to
eventually love her. Anyway, Kingo is now fulfilling Izana’s last request. ^^
Scans by 网易汉化
Quote
of the day:
The face is the mirror of the mind, and
eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart. ~ St. Jerome
Thank you a lot!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome ^-^
DeleteThanks for translating these! I look forward to them. This manga is so great.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when people have had a hard life where others have been unkind or hurtful, it makes it hard for them to trust others' intentions. Up to downright rejecting others when they are trying to be kind, because it is either painful or they cannot know the true intent (is it pity? is it friendship? is acknowledging it to be weak?)
It is hard to look into a mirror when you once felt beautiful and now see the ugliness.
Thanks for reading and yup ^-^
DeleteIndeed and after getting used to that for such a long time, it won't be easy to 'break that wall'.
Yup.
Thanks for the Translation Kat!^^
ReplyDeleteAnd what did I say she still rejects herself well it's a little bit hard though accepting yourself because now you believe everything is a lie but was it really a lie? Did she really return to her "Aikewa" and found out about Sukeyo? Does she know who was supposed to be Izana's Ake? And what was her second goal for which she wanted to use the lipstick for?
"But, actually, whether it is Habuta-san, Fuchi Sugeyo, Kaidou Nagi, they are willing to face the ugly you squarely, but you simply didn’t respond to their gaze." from chapter 121 oh Kasane you weren't there and sadly all three people had their own difficulties in facing her squarely stop comparing your Mother to that wretched old hag Mineyo please you still don't know enough about her....
Well as for the thing with Iku she knows she is right she know's where both can find their Ake and Yoi but she's worried about taking that risk that she might find out the abyss that she wanted to be never existed that she never really met the real Sukeyo up until that point and that she could lose Iku! She actually wants her to take a different approach but is afraid of saying it!^^
But I like the callbacks to the older chapters so far (that chapter 2 callback in the previous one but this time with her real face) and that instead of separating Kasane from Iku he encourages her to go to her and face her and finally he begins to see the woman he never met by taking Fujihara's kind approach!^^
Thanks for reading, Jack ^-^
Delete'And what was her second goal for which she wanted to use the lipstick for?' - Kasane?
I'm not sure about the other two, but I assume that Sugeyo faced her squarely.
Hehe...I'm getting confused with the 'she'. Is it Iku or Kasane? ^^;;
True.
Well isn't it obvious^^ look at Nogiku out of all the people she slept with she still choose the ugly one Amagasaki! Why? And why did Ichika, Iku with a wig on and Uno have similarities to a certain someone? And then there is her stage fright that actually tells us what she really searches for and a certain someone has her own stage fright dream in the same place and chapter 107 both dreams merge! And as I already mentioned her persona might be buried in Kasane heart but it's still there!^^
DeleteWell that's what she still hasn't found out!
Kasane! And well Kasane err's again because this time Iku know's Amagasaki!^^
Hehe...well, it seems Kasane...then it seems not @_@;
DeleteAh, because he did her bidding? They fell in love with each other?
I see.
My theory is that Sukeyo would have played Ake to Izana's Yoi... so what was one of her biggest regrets? That she couldn't sum up the strength to stay with Izana on the stage together way way earlier leaving her all alone? She know's about Kasane's goal through Izana and that Kasane has the lipstick so why should she not give her this as a goal? And then kiss her...^^
DeleteHaving Nogiku in Amagasaki's life made him reflect he began to see his own mirror in Nogiku this is why he gradually took a liking to her her burning scar was just the final realization for him.
Seriously Matsuraa give us a meeting between Iku and Amagasaki where they discuss their own pasts and talk about how they could help the sisters!
Hm...I always thought that Sugeyo isn't interested in acting since she preferred costume designing. You mean, Sugeyo teaching Kasane how to use the lipstick?
DeleteReflection of the hatred and desire for revenge, right?
I get the impression that the mangaka wants the sisters to resolve this on their own...more or less.
Well my take is Sugeyo is trained by Izana for one last final play as they are hiding out Izana knows how she ticks since she spended a whole year watching how she plays she knows her strengths and weaknesses. Then after things died down they would with help of Kingo and the Shiraito theater troupe play Ake and Yoi retiring the "Sugeyo Fuchi" persona they created for good! Yes Izana explained it to Kasane and Sugeyo demonstrated it to her that's what I think!
DeleteYup pretty much he began to question what he was doing and if it was really worth it.
Yes they have to but they should not do it completly on their own Izana and Sugeyo tried this apparantly and it backfired on them. Remember what Fujihara said relying on no one isn't necesseraly strength but the flipside of weakness.
Ah, I see. Still, how would they be able to convince Atae to allow them to do that play? Especially since he doesn't want Sugeyo outside...I mean, either one always have to be in the house.
DeleteAh..okay.
Not Atae but Kingo. Umm both of them escape when he's gone Izana just stay's behind with Nogiku in order to not arouse suspicion and in the meantime destroy some of Nagi's documents about the hibeni production....
DeleteWell looks like the next chapter is out (here the link http://netabare.io/?p=116984) and as I suspected Iku took a different approach and Uno was among the crowd during the play! Well I hope Kasane does what her mother couldn't but adoptive mother could (but for the wrong reasons T.T) letting someone she "loved" go. And it looks like Nogiku is about to meet someone...
Yes, how can Atae allow them to do that play...go outside...both women. I don't think he'll risk it since he can be put in jail for 'imprisonment'. Hm...Nagi's documents about the hibeni production...they're not important anymore, right?
DeleteHopefully so. Ya...for closure with Nina.
Who knows 'bout the documents? We still have to see...
DeleteI hope she manages it and Iku helps her get through with it fingers crossed!
Ya...though the series will end at chapter 125. So, I'm thinking they're no longer important.
DeleteYup ^^
they wanna end it? really?!
DeleteYup.
DeleteHmm if that is the case I at least would want some closing words from the real Sukeyo to her daughters then. And the third novel of course!^^
DeleteYa ^^
DeleteI can't believe tha manga is going to end so soon, I wonder wheter we will get all our questions answered :O
ReplyDeleteYa...I'm inclined to think we won't when it ends. But then, maybe there will be side stories and novels to answer the questions.
Delete