June 27, 2018

Kasane [Chapter 121 - And Then, On the Empty Stage]

Sitting on a bench by the river, Kasane reads her mother’s letter to Nagi. Narration: “The last letter that mama wrote to Kaido Nagi mentioned her own daughter.”

Izana wrote: “From beginning to end, I don’t know why I was the one who lived and not you. With this kind of situation, I became a mother. The daughter’s name is ‘Kasane’. It’s disappointing that she didn’t look like your brother but rather, me.

[Kasane: Confronted with an ugly daughter who looked like ‘Izana’, she is endlessly perplexed, and it took her a very long time to become aware of her own love towards the daughter.] In my eyes, she, who is originally ugly, had become very cute in my eyes. Is your love, Chigusa’s love also like this?”
[Kasane: She saw her own reflection on the daughter, afterwards, she also saw her own reflection on the witch ‘Yoi’.] “I want to become ‘Yoi’, become that witch. Mountains, trees, spring water gushing and moss-covered rocks.

Lofty Keyaki [Japanese zelkova] guarding the confined place. Teardrop-like stars. Four seasons. If I can go back to that place, go back to that place which I always cursed, go back to that time...”

Kasane thinks, “Even if you have the intention of turning back into ugly ‘Yoi’, turning back to your original self, but, you don’t have the courage to reveal this idea[/thought].

Narration: “—but Kingo will definitely...no, no one would want to see this appearance again. How can one make an ugly woman without cover, use her original appearance to stand on stage?”
Kasane says, “So, if the ugly daughter were to live on with her original appearance-- You cannot dare imagine that kind of future.” Kasane is facing Izana who wrote, “Once there was a random opportunity, I asked Kasane-chan, ‘What do you want to become when you grow up?”

Flashback: ‘Sugeyo’ is walking with Kasane at that time. Kasane stopped walking. ‘Sugeyo’ glanced at her. After pausing, Kasane blurted out, “...actress.” This surprised ‘Sugeyo’. End Flashback. Izana wrote, “She will walk on the same path so I handed over to the daughter...”

Izana says, “Thus, I decided to give the ‘lipstick’ to Kasane-chan... Afterwards, as a precaution, I also entrusted that task to Kingo.” Kasane asks, “...is it to finally get me on stage using the lipstick?”
Izana replies, “That’s right. You’re ugly but you wish to get up onstage, then, you’ll simply walk in my path. Even if I wanted to tell you this but if I help Sugeyo and Nogiku escape from that house...

...then it is quite possible that the me as ‘Sugeyo’ who is left behind cannot run away and escape. ...so, in the end, I still haven’t told Kingo of my idea as well as my understanding of ‘Yoi’...”

Kasane asks if she is really afraid to expose her weak point to Kingo. Izana says, perhaps. “I’m always acting in front of him, acting out whom he considers as the beautiful ‘Izana’--”
Kasane says, “But, actually, whether it is Habuta-san, Fuchi Sugeyo, Kaidou Nagi, they are willing to face the ugly you squarely, but you simply didn’t respond to their gaze. I understand your dread—

...but, you’re so gutless. I will not walk in your footsteps. I will personally go witness--- the future...as to what it is like at the end of the path that you didn’t choose.” Izana smiles.

Then, Kasane looked surprised. She opens her hand and sees the lipstick. Then, walking Nogiku to her. Kasane apologizes to her for always asking for her help. Holding out a small paper bag to Nogiku, Kasane says like what they’ve agreed before, this is for her...please.
After Nogiku takes the bag, Kasane looks at the lipstick on her hand. She says, “Furthermore, ...I’m also giving the ‘lipstick’ to you...” Nogiku looks at it. She reaches for it then stops.

She tells Kasane that actually, in her eyes, whether being the beauty whom everyone talks about or the ugly person whom everyone talks about, I’m both ‘unusual’. You are the person whom Fuchi Sugeyo wanted to protect...even if right now, you still wanted the forever switch, it doesn’t matter to me. For me, there is no loss whatsoever.”

Kasane looks surprised at sad Nogiku. She closes her eyes then says, “...thanks. But, I already do not want to do this kind of thing again. Besides...we shouldn’t be played between Izana and Sugeyo’s hands. We should use our own way to settle it off.”
Nogiku says, “...I understand, sister.” With that, Nogiku takes the lipstick and leaves. Kasane looks up then looks down. She holds herself as birds fly up the sky.

Narration: “I’ve gave up the unlimited possibilities that the lipstick gave me. *scenes of Salome and Lady Macbeth* Now---forever.  What’s left is simply this human body that is filled with ‘fear’, ‘uneasiness’, ‘self-inferiority’ and ‘shame’. What remains is simply an ugly monster [/freak] squirming to climb out from the bottomless abyss.”

At a meeting, someone enters which causes Kingo and Iku to look surprised. That someone apologizes for being late on the first day. A woman asks if that person is an actress. The man says no way. The woman says but, there is still no one who’ll play ‘Yoi’...
Kingo says that everyone had already greeted the others and you’re the only one left. Looking tense, Kasane says that she’ll be play ‘Yoi and she’s...‘Kasane’...Yoroshiku” Everyone looks uneasy over her but Iku is teary-eyed.

A glasses woman asks Iku what’s wrong, is she alright. Wiping her tears, Iku assures the woman that she is fine! Kasane quietly looks at Iku. Kingo says then, let’s start. “First of all, I want to think everybody. This ‘Ake no Hime’ was actually terminated last year when it was about to be staged...

...Even if it is like that, I still have made a few friends from the theatrical troupe and there are also new friends who agreed to come and join. For this...I want to express my gratitude. Even if it is inevitable that the scale and staging period has been cut [short], but I can definitely create a remarkable drama. Together with everyone present here.”
Kasane looks at Kingo and thinks that he had also sorted out his state of mind and plan on a comeback. “This [situation] and the previous situation is not the same. I have also properly sorted out my state of mind, and tried to imagine for countless times the scene wherein my appearance ‘is being look upon by others’. Then, with resolution, I’ve come here-- But,”

Kingo tells everyone that they’ll quickly do a cold reading [/dialogue reading] from act 1 scene 1 starting from ‘Ake’s lines. Iku says okay. Iku reads, ‘I’m known as Ake.’ Kasane says, “...ah...I’m known...’ Kasane, Kingo, Iku and the others look tense and surprised.

Narration: “Even if the mind has already understood this situation, but the body—rejects [it]. In the end, don’t even talk about acting, I cannot even finish reading a small line from the script. The first day of rehearsal ended like this.”
Comment: From the letter, it turns out that Izana did manage to love her little Kasane. And after reading ‘Yoi’, she had longed to go back to her hometown. She also wanted to go back to her original appearance but alas, she is a coward in doing that.

That is one thing Kasane had but her mother didn’t. So, Kasane now wants to try to do what her mother didn’t do. Can she do it? From the looks of things, it won’t be easy. She has to battle her ‘subconscious’ self which is making her body stop doing what she wanted to do.

Still, it is good that the sisters made amends. I wonder what’s in the paper bag. Letters? Perhaps, things from Nina which Nogiku can help give closure to Nina’s parents? Maybe something from Sugeyo? I think it might be important later on. Scans by 网易汉化

Quote of the day:
Life isn't about preventing yourself from falling, but learning to pick yourself up after falling. ~ thatonerule

6 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for these summaries!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading them, lovelyluvluv ^-^

      Delete
  2. Thanks for the translation Kat!

    And what did I say!^^ She did return to Iku!

    She did what Sugeyo wished of her looked up to her mother and returned alive T.T She calls herself Kasane which is a good thing but now she has to conquer what her mother couldn't but the adoptive mother decided to do her own "Stage Fright" and how she got that scar.
    She has yet to reembrace the "Fuchi" (Abyss)...

    Let's see how she and Nogiku will be able to heal themselves now that the revenge part is over!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading, Jack ^-^

      Hehe ^^

      Yup.

      Delete