This freaks Kyouko out for she obviously said something a while ago. “That tone is obviously not saying some destructive words!! The timing is really bad. I’m really out of sync. How come it is this kind of fated outcome-!!! Ah, would it be better to make the tone a bit tough..? No..in that kind of thing, any will do..” Fujimichi looks at gloomy Kyouko and tells her that just now, Saena asks if she is wearing a costume. This puzzles Kyouko. Fujimichi explains that it is because Kyouko is already working that no matter what, she needed a passport so she wrote a letter to them. “Could it be that you need to wear a costume to work. Is this an acting-type of work?” Kyouko says yes, actually, she is an act.. Then, Kyouko freezes upon sensing Saena scowling at her. Kyouko thinks that she received several mixed and disorderly feelings--!!! Her aroused antennas are happily saying that Saena is angry. She felt that Saena is saying, “If you say that you’re an actress, I absolutely won’t forgive you. Want me to say what’s the most humiliating thing is. The most humiliating is you are doing that kind of work. That kind of ridiculous LOVE ME member. And moreover, for the second time, you are running around in a utility outfit while in some bored and bullied role.”
Kyouko thinks, yes, she understands, her sharp pain understands all of her [mother] feelings.. “True..I cannot tell others about it in detail. After all, this person is.. But becoming an undisputed first rate actress is a different cup of tea [/different issue].” Kyouko says that in the future, she wants to go to work at something related to showbiz. “It just so happen that someone introduced her to do some behind-the-scenes work or perhaps, temporary actress work. And the passport is because I joined an overseas shooting that I had no choice but to do it.” While frowning Saena is listening on their conversation, Fujimichi asks regarding the behind-the-scenes work and temporary actress, aren’t there a lot of replacements. Kyouko says no, it is because they are doing a secret mission that they cannot find replacements. Fujimichi asks what is this secret mission.
Kyouko apologizes and says that because it is a secret so she cannot answer him and she won’t say it even if she’s tortured. Fujimichi finds this very suspicious and she ought not to be forced to do some very dangerous thing right. “Will she be alright..” Kyouko says that indeed, in that situation, she needs to wear a ‘costume’ but this isn’t a costume. She tells her mother that this is her uniform from the school where she studies. This surprises Saena that she asks if she properly went.. Kyouko nervously says no, it is because there are times when there’s a conflict with work and actually, she wasn’t strictly going to school full-time. Saena says no, she didn’t mean that. In .01 second, Kyouko recovers and says that regarding the tuition fee, the president of the company is always subsidizing her and of course, bit by bit, she’ll also give him the money back. Fujimichi thinks that company..it shouldn’t be an organized crime syndicate.. “Is this child really alright.. Even if she looks very strong and independent but she seems to be very easily deceived. It is better for me to go investigate it more concretely regarding what she is up to..” Saena says is that so.
Kyouko and Fujimichi are surprised to see Saena’s somewhat relieved expression and says, “..that mister--..” Kyouko wonders if Saena was worried about her. Saena says that she always thought that Kyouko didn’t went to high school-- "Just thinking that your educational background is cut short at junior high..I get so angry that my eyes turn red and it endlessly put me in a daze. I’m fully aware that it is illegal but like before, for countless times, I wanted to simply remove you from the family registry.. Unexpectedly, regardless of the consequences, you ran away together with a guy. *Kyouko looks dark and tight-lipped* There’s also a limit to having bad brains. *Kyouko thinks that everything is indeed what Saena said that she totally cannot refute her* Not only that, unexpectedly, you were humiliatingly taken advantage by him and abandoned. Even in writing, I also do not want to have any relationship with you.” Kyouko wonders if that is the legendary ‘I don’t have a child’ statement and it already totally felt that she had totally severed her relationship with her.
Scowling Saena looks away and says, “It really humiliates me and makes me get very angry. I never expect that just this bit [/part] is very similar--..” This perks Kyouko up that she slightly scowls. Fujimichi interrupts the two and says that it isn’t quite convenient for them to stand and talk here so they should first to go the office. Kyouko realizes that Fujimichi just heard what was said just now. Fujimichi tells Saena that she has something to tell Kyouko, right, regarding what that child said just now. Saena turns around and walks away. Fujimichi smiles. He gives Kyouko’s bag to her and tells her to come along. While Saena is walking ahead at the hallway, the two follows her. Kyouko asks Fujimichi that surely, he clearly knows the reason why she went to Tokyo. Fujimichi looks at her and says yes, and that is the story of her following her admired childhood friend in leaving his home since he does not want to inherit family business, but then, in the end, they separated and she lost everything..right.
Kyouko thinks that in the end, the specific reason why she thinks that this person hides her showbiz activities is because she [Kyouko] felt that [her mother think?] that she shouldn’t mention her dark history to people who doesn’t know..but.. Kyouko asks Fujimichi if Saena herself told him about it. Fujimichi asks if she thinks that Saena herself would tell him. Kyouko says no, the perfect iron wall will absolutely not let dripping water to leak out even a single drop of sparrow’s tear. Fujimichi smiles and replies that even if it is like that, as time goes by, eventually there are some places that will become weak. “No matter how the iron wall restrains or perhaps was fortified, if there is a strong burden that always completely kept on pressing down, *Kyouko perks up* and also at that time, she suddenly received Kyouko-chan’s letter. Even if her expression is ice-cold but the rage can be vaguely seen. The Mogami river had become a turbulent surge.” Kyouko is puzzled what this Mogami river is.
Fujimichi says to make Saena a bit straightforward, it has to overflow. “Then, that is the time to try to prescribe the right medicine for an illness [/idiom for: take appropriate steps] because when people are around, it can influence one to be at their mercy [/can be manipulated; peer pressure]. Hence, one night, I tried a bit of various medicines towards the iron wall that has been fortified. On contrary, without using much effort, a hole opened above.” Kyouko thinks that even if she isn’t quite sure but he made Saena drink in order for her to open her mouth to talk, right.. Fujimichi says that Saena absolutely won’t touch liquor that she cannot drink. “Even if she got invited by a senpai or a teacher, she would stubbornly refuse it at the speed of sound.” Kyouko thinks that she can imagine it. While Saena is writing something at the reception office, Fujimichi says but that Saena [at that time] drank the liquor that she cannot drink and she definitely truly can no longer control her feelings. Kyouko looks surprised then looks dark and serious.
Kyouko says that she has no way of properly dealing with it..so she just went and did a useless thing. “Obviously she really wanted to immediately sever ties with her idiotic daughter but her pride and nature of her profession (position) won’t allow her to do so. For this reason, she quickly closed that awkward situation wherein she is incapable of finding an exit. She was defeated [/broken down] by that scenario, right..?” Fujimichi says about that, he totally won’t deny it. Pushing up his glasses, he says that a majority part of her anger also definitely comes from there. As Saena is nodding that Kyouko can come, Fujimichi says, “But, Kyouko-chan, you also really knows it clearly, right..? She is stubborn like iron. Indeed, she possess a ‘hard to understand’ and ‘hard to deal with’ personality. But regarding a person who, from her heart, was thinking of wanting to sever one’s relationship, that person shouldn’t be angry every time, right.” Kyouko hesitantly agrees. She thinks that perhaps, it is indeed like that.
She recalls Saena saying that she always thought that Kyouko didn’t go to high school and how furious she was that she had stopped her education that she wanted to remove her from the family registry. But.. Kyouko slightly smiles and thinks that in the end, she already no longer expects.. Later on, hot drinks are served in a room where Kyouko and Saena are. Silence. Kyouko thinks then, she will be interrogated here. “What to do.. at the parking lot, I only immediately went straight to the topic before I was driven away. Right now, this mood also won’t allow me to do that again. If I don’t use clear thinking and well-organized words, I’m afraid that I’ll provoke her more to anger.. I have to find a suitable opening topic.” She recalls Saena telling her that Kyouko was taken advantage of, and then, abandoned. So she says, ‘Then, you just..’ And, Saena said at the same time, ‘What you said just..’ Pause. Kyouko becomes gloomy. Holding out her hand, Kyouko urges her to please speak first. Her demons are destroying the word ‘god’ [and I don’t know what it means. Maybe Saena is ‘god’ here and not Kyouko?] Saena asks, “..let me say..since when did it start that you have that kind of relationship with Shou-kun?”
This puzzles Kyouko about what she meant as ‘that kind of relationship’. Saena asks didn’t they eloped. Kyouko furiously denies it. “It is because that guy wanted to debut as a singer so he went to Tokyo yet he doesn’t have the confidence that he can properly take care of himself. So, he brought me along to treat me like a housekeeper, whom he can summon and call as he pleases for me to do things..” And, Saena is scowling. Her scowl is saying the two of them are obviously not lovers..yet Kyouko would still foolishly came over [to Tokyo] with him. Kyouko couldn’t talk anymore that she sits down and mutters that it isn’t..that kind of suspicious..relationship.. Saena says that in short, she was abandoned and this is a fact that she cannot deny. Kyouko looks really sad-serious then asks if that guy..was it Shoutarou who said that..said that she eloped with him..unexpectedly making up that kind of absolutely impossible thing..that guy.. Saena tells her that she never once talked with Shou this year. “It is Yayoi's [Sho’s mother] way of speaking that made me think that way.” Kyouko thinks ah, it is because Yayoi wants her to become her daughter-in-law.. Kyouko says, then..how come she knew that she was taken advantage by Shou then afterwards, being abandoned..
Saena says she only has to think about it for her to know since the two of them obviously went together but they are living in different places. “I just didn’t think that the two of you are unexpectedly not lovers. Besides, I heard Shou-kun said that he no longer meets with you again and he also doesn’t know where you live. Anyone would be able to arrive into that kind of conclusion.” Kyouko is puzzled for Shou said that they didn’t meet. Saena says no matter what, she thinks that it is her sole consolation [/comfort] that Kyouko has already avoided the most terrible situation. “If there is a child, then it is truly tragic.” Kyouko looks surprised at her mother’s expression. While looking at the side, distraught Saena scowls. Kyouko wonders if it is possible that Saena felt that she said some inappropriate-type..of words.. “Maybe, I was born due to a most terrible situation and confronting the me who is like this, she then became anxious.. (Kyouko <- meaning that she is the so-called tragic existence) It is merely just a youngster frivolously doing something that one won’t be able to take back. Feeling that it would be better if everything didn’t happen. In the end, came to loathe my existence. ..actually, it isn’t at all that kind of meaning..type..this expression [in her eyes] is totally different from when she is angry...
...Her facial expression is also a bit serious. Basing on my nurtured perception and aesthetics, I had forced myself to read and understand that scowl in a flash. It is her anger and ‘I hate you’ signal. *flashback of Saena hitting away a knife when young Kyouko is cutting some vegetables* I always believed that way.” She recalls Fujimichi telling her that she also clearly knows that Saena’s personality is ‘difficult to understand’ and ‘difficult to deal with’. Kyouko says, “--..I..really like the current me.. perhaps, from how you look at it, I always just allowed myself to play a role that make people hate or perhaps you feel that I’m very unpresentable. I feel that after encountering this work, my narrow world had already enlarged. Whether it is experience or interpersonal relationships, all of my everything was given a life force (strength). If I had stayed at Kyoto, the former me would perhaps, simply not think about wanting to attempt to do this kind of thing if I considered it wrong. [<- I think she won’t try new things] Regarding this kind of work, as well as meeting the other things of this work, I have this grateful feeling.” Saena says that from how she heard it, it seems that she also wanted to thank Shou. Saena is surprised when Kyouko smiles and says, “--..of course..I’m most, most thankful to you. *Saena looks surprised and puzzled* –Thank you for giving birth to me. I’m truly very grateful--..” The next chapter comes out on September 18 in Japan.
Comment: That was quite amazing of Kyouko. She really does seem to be moving on that she can bring herself to thank those who made her suffer and everything because now, she is what she is and she likes it. It somewhat reminded me of Kyouko telling Maria to be ‘thankful’ during her birthday. Kyouko is practicing what she told her. ^^ But then, I think forgiving is not exactly part of that, well, at least, regarding Shou. There are no fireworks during the confrontation. Actually, there are some laughs due to the awkwardness. There is also some getting to know more of each other. In a way, it does seem that both think of each other as the same. I mean, think that they are like the usual since when they met, it seems to be the usual.Kyouko was expecting her mother to lash out on her and drive her away but apparently, she is more curious about her uniform. Saena must have look down on her being a Love Me based on her uniform and how people would look at/treat her, and also look down on show business. She probably thinks that Kyouko is still the same doormat that she was before.
It seems that Saena was quite furious about the ‘elopement’. Based on what Kyouko is thinking, it does seem that Saena made a similar mistake and Kyouko was the result. Maybe that is what Saena hinted as similar..until Fujimichi interrupted them. Is it related to being drunk before so she no longer wants to drink certain liquors that she cannot drink? This is a reader’s theory in the last chapter. Maybe, to push that further, during a drinking party, she got drunk, raped/not then pregnant. Maybe the guy used a fake name so she couldn’t find him anymore. Anyway, based on that hint that it might be some mistake, what Kyouko said in the end is quite meaningful because if that indeed happened, she is practically thanking her mother for not aborting her. I guess Kyouko’s existence kept on reminding her of her mistake that she felt like venting her anger on her. Since she lashed out on Kyouko who is cutting vegetables, I guess Saena wants her to be like a ‘professional woman’ rather than a ‘housewife’ type thus there is pressure to get high grades. Maybe Saena also has expectations towards Kyouko but ended up getting frustrated so she left her under Yayoi’s care since well, the former Kyouko really suits working at an inn.
In a way, I think that Saena is indeed difficult to understand and deal with. One moment, she seems relieved that Kyouko is studying and curious about her then, another moment, she disapproves of her. ^^; Anyway, this won’t be possible without Fujimichi who also helps when the two got into a stalemate for saying things at the same time. Is it me or he is acting somewhat ‘fatherly’ or something like that? Is he just meddlesome or really caring? Likes Saena? Or, helping her so that she can concentrate on work later on? He seems worried enough about Kyouko to check out where she works or what she exactly does. In a way, it was ‘dangerous’ if he is referring to being Setsuka while in Guam –> reason for the passport and she has no replacements. I wonder if his curiosity will lead to something. He is doing a good job being the two’s mediator. Ah yes, how come Shou lied about still meeting with Kyouko and where she lives. Is this about his concern that they’ll bring Kyouko back to Kyoto if they knew? Or something else? Like, doesn’t want them to know that he is kind of ‘chasing’ after Kyouko. This chapter really emphasizes what Shou did to Kyouko and how stupid she was to allow herself to go with him to Tokyo based on one-sided love. ^^;; Scans by 红莲汉化组
Quote of the day:
Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. ~ Author Unknown