June 20, 2013

From Five to Nine [Chapter 34 - Torch Song Trilogy Part 3 of 3]

Cover page: “I’m not perplexed. I don’t hesitate. I only wanted a ‘marriage’ to make everyone envious [of me]..” Masako is currently in her dream conversation with the parents. Satoshi’s parents are having tea with Masako. Mrs. Mishima asks her a lot of questions like when she started working since Masako is still quite young, and if she’s going to get married, she might not be able to continue working since Satoshi is going to work in New York soon.

She apologizes for asking a lot because this is a crucial time so she is quite bothered by it. Masako tells her that she is only working for around 1 year and compared to her work or anything else, her greatest wish is to be able to assist Satoshi but of course, if she gets married to him. Mrs. Mishima tells Satoshi that this answer puts her at ease. Just before Satoshi is about to say something, Masako says that she is worried about not being fluent in English so if she’s going with him, she has to spend a lot of energy studying. This made Mrs. Mishima asks which college she graduated from. 

Masako says that she didn’t go to college but rather, to a business school after high school graduation. When Mrs. Mishima says is that so, Masako thinks this is bad for an educational background is required. Masako quickly adds that rather than being a student, she hopes to quickly go to work. Mrs. Mishima asks what the occupation of Masako’s parents is. 

Masako tells her that her father is a government worker but when she was young, her parents separated so her mother brought her up all by herself so she wanted to help her mother as soon as she can. Masako thinks that actually all of that in nonsense and it is only because she just doesn’t want to study but then, things might become messier if she asks her about her ‘parents’ and ‘family status’.

Mrs. Mishima admires Masako for being so concern for her parent at such a young age. Happy that she managed to pass through that, Masako happily says, not really. Then, Mrs. Mishima laments a bit that it is such a waste for she wanted a girl coming from Ferris, Shirayuki or perhaps Sacred Heart [some top female universities] who would be more suitable for Satoshi. Masako thinks that Mrs. Mishima is hanged up on the educational background and the girls who graduates from those schools would definitely become OL [office lady] in big companies. 

Satoshi says that college doesn’t matter for it would be much better for her to know English. Delighted that Satoshi helped her out, Masako says yes, she’ll do her best. Mrs. Mishima apologizes for saying too much. She starts to mention that this would be like having a daughter since she has two sons, and Masako is so beautiful like an actress. Masako is quite glad for marriage is really great and because of this [marriage], she drove away Junko from Satoshi’s side.
In the car, Masako is telling Satoshi that his mother is quite nice and she is quite nervous because of his father who doesn’t talk much. She hopes that she didn’t do anything rude towards them. Satoshi apologizes on his mother’s behalf for talking about the educational background. Masako tells him that it is okay and he helped her out. 

Satoshi says that actually, that thing doesn’t matter at all. “I will be going to New York. And for me, marriage will make life more convenient. And, Miss Mouri, you wanted marriage only purely for marriage itself. My parents’ concern doesn’t matter at all and it is simply a waste of time.” Masako looks a bit flustered and tells him that is no good for at most, he should be calling her Masako for in any case, she is his fiancée.

She seductively asks if he plans on directly driving her home. He asks if she wants it. She touches his hand and says, yes for she wants to stay with him for a while. Satoshi says okay, they’ll go to a hotel. Masako wants to go to his house and she can help him in tidying up his luggage. After a pause, Satoshi apologizes that his house won’t do because he has a meeting tomorrow so he has go leave early and he would be very busy this week so he might not be able to see her.

While Masako is scowling, Satoshi tells her that he’ll send her a text if they can meet, and regarding tidying up the luggage, he’ll find some time. Masako wonders when that time is. At ELA, Masako watches Junko teaches a guy English. She wonders what makes Satoshi think that Junko is so good and if it is looks and youth, she won’t lose to Junko. “Is it because of being an expert in H[/sex]? But, if it is number of times, I did it with him a lot more times than her.”

Junko suddenly calls out to her. Masako thinks that this is bad for she is the one whom she doesn’t want to talk with the most right now. Junko says that there is something she wants to ask her since the manager said that it is best that she get in touch with someone in charge. Masako apologizes for not being able to help because she has just gotten off work so can this be done tomorrow. 

Junko says that it is okay and it is about her change of address. Masako asks if they are living together in the temple. Embarrassed Junko exclaims that it isn’t living together though it isn’t really moving to a new place, but rather, just temporary since both of them has work and it is impossible to live together. Masako wonders what’s up with that when she used to hate Takane before. She comments that it seems that their relationship is doing well.
Thinking that [Junko and Takane] is fine with her and right now the one who likes her is now hers, Masako starts to flaunt about going to Satoshi’s house and meeting his parents. His house is surprising beautiful and his mother is quite nice that they had become friends. Junko says is that so, and is she alright.

Surprised by her reaction, Masako asks why she said that. Junko tells her that there is no other meaning to it and even if Satoshi’s mother isn’t bad but she is really concerned that it would be better if the girl went to some top schools like Sophia, Ferris or Shirayuki. Women should also be a fulltime wife and should be easily lectured by her so even if it irritates Junko a bit, she just let it pass from ear to the other ear. 

Masako thinks that she doesn’t want to hear any suggestions from Junko. Masako happily laughs that it is totally okay and his mother is very nice saying like she’s cute, beautiful and young and she seems satisfied with her. Junko says is that so, and Masako is definitely the type she’ll like so it’s great that things went smoothly. 

Masako is irked that Junko is relieved for her. Turning away, Masako asks Junko what’s with that high and mighty attitude when Junko isn’t even his past girlfriend. Junko apologizes for she is right but because she caused him trouble and they are friends so she is worried. Masako tells Junko that she likes to worry. 

Junko says that she is right and she apologizes and she also doesn’t know what she is thinking just now. Masako tells Junko to just email her the address and she’s leaving. While walking away, Masako is furious for Satoshi has not yet thoroughly let go unlike Junko. Then, Masako is surprised that Renji is looking at her.

Nervous that he saw that, Masako asks if he has classes today. Renji says no, he came to get some data. Just when she is bidding him goodbye, Masako stops and says that if he doesn’t have a schedule with someone tonight, she can accompany him. After a pause, Renji says that didn’t she told him that she won’t go to his house anymore, ah, it is because she and glasses guy.. Masako nervously says that it just so happen that she is free today. 

Renji says that she can come if someone cancels because he is so popular that it is quite troublesome to reject people. Masako tells him forget it, idiot, and it would had been better if it is her. She thinks everyone are idiots..that idiot as well as Satoshi. While walking in the streets, Masako sends a message in some instant messaging program [/chat] that she is free today so who would eat together with her.
While some guys are replying to her invitation, Masako notices that her bag is slipping. She is angry over her heavy bag and bad luck for today. Then, she sees a wedding display at a store. She tells herself that it is okay for with only marriage, she will become happy and perhaps, Satoshi would want them both to be happy and satisfied.

She tells herself that it won’t be like this heavy totally duty type of feeling but rather, if only she’s married, it will be filled with hearts ‘happiness’. Then, someone takes her bag. It is Renji who says that someone cancelled so they can go eat dinner first. Renji comments that the bag is actually quite light when she was walking as if it is so heavy and she looks quite depressed. 

Masako denies it and says that she is very happy that she can give some happiness to others. She tells him to give her bag back because it doesn’t look good if she isn’t carrying anything. Renji says that it cannot be helped, he knows so just hold this for this isn’t heavy. She looks up to him for he had offered his hand to her. Masako says that it is good that it is quite light.

Then, Masako mentally tells herself that this is wrong, pull herself together for happiness isn’t like this. On the bed, naked Masako wakes up and looks at sleeping Renji. She thinks that happiness is for the other party to early on notice her value and compared to Satoshi, it is much simpler with Renji. She thinks that it is simplier to compare between a room that only one girl can go in and a room that girls, no matter who, can go in [as to which one is better], and even if it is that simple, but it isn’t happiness. Masako goes out of the room. 

Renji wakes up and is startled that she is gone. He sits up and looks around for her. At the kitchen, Masako drinks some water when she hears some ruckus that makes her think that he is awake. Renji is shouting where she is. Masako is puzzled over the fuss. She calls out to him from the kitchen and says that she is here. He looks somewhat relieved. Masako apologizes that she went to drink some water so there’s no need to look awful because of that. 

Renji trembles and bends down, telling her not to be like that. Masako drops her bottled water and goes to him. She asks him if he is alright, and should she call for an ambulance. He isn’t replying that she asks if he can hear her. He suddenly pulls her to him and hugs her. He tells her not to suddenly disappear again. “Do..not.. Do not LEAVE ME ALL ALONE. Do not die while I’m sleeping, DON’T..”

Trembling Renji hugs Masako tighter. She hugs him back and tells her that it is alright, she won’t disappear on her own, she is here and she won’t let him be alone. While patting him, Masako keeps on reassuring him that she is here so it is alright. Renji looks at her.

Masako says that isn’t she here. Renji closes his eyes and says yes. While hugging and patting Renji, Masako takes back what she said earlier for it seems that it isn’t quite simple at all but then, she doesn’t hate this serious[/heavy] feeling. Blurb: “Feeling that cannot be resisted..is it love?”
Comment: Apparently, Masako is really fixated with marriage = happiness. Rather than for it to be about the two of them, it seems more like for herself – for her to be happy, and envied. It does make me wonder why she think this way that she’s willing to do everything she can to get married to her ‘ideal man’ even if obviously, he doesn’t like her and she isn’t quite happy with him.

She doesn’t seem the naïve type so how come she has that kind of belief. Nevertheless, she has that jealousy towards Junko whom Satoshi still harbors an unrequited love for. From how she compares herself to Junko, it does seem that Masako is only focused on the superficial things like her physical looks or good at sex. In a way, I guess she is irritated at Satoshi for not totally falling for her given those qualities that she is most proud of.

Apparently, Satoshi isn’t that clueless either for he knows what Masako is after from him. From the way things are going between these two, they are heading towards a loveless convenient marriage and I really don’t think Masako would get her ‘marriage = happiness’ dream unless Satoshi finally lets go of Junko and falls for her. But, currently, Satoshi is still drawing a line between him and Masako.

In this chapter, he still won’t let her go in his room after that fiasco with Junko, he still addresses her formally and dictate when she can meet him. She also has to initiate things like sex though he obliges on his own terms. Renji would be the type who is seemingly easier to handle for Masako and he knows how to treat a girl.

Of course, since iirc, Renji is still in high school, and has a lot of women, getting married is probably the last thing on his mind. And apparently, other than being a playboy type, Renji seems to have some sort of trauma wherein he has to be with a woman every night. I’m guessing if the one who died is his mother or girlfriend or a fling but he must have taken it very hard that he ended up like this.

Towards the end, she seems to be choosing between Satoshi and Renji. From the looks of things, she would most probably end up with Renji whom she is more compatible with. If that happens, hopefully, Satoshi does find the one for him..he must be the most ‘tragic’ of all the characters in this series. ^^;

Once again, it is mentioned on how high the standards are for the girls who wants to marry the rich guys. In this one, it is more on education attainment though it does seem to not match with wanting to have a fulltime wife. So, is the education attainment just for showing that the girl is intelligent?

What Satoshi’s mother wants seem to be very hard to find because if the girl is quite intelligent and graduated from a top college, would she just settle to being a fulltime wife? Lastly, the mangaka seems to be cramming again for some of the scenes are just draft drawings. Scans by 深雪
Quote of the day:
A bad relationship is like standing on broken glass, if you stay you will keep hurting... If u walk away, you will hurt but eventually u will heal. ~ Autumn Kohler