June 13, 2011

Papillon -Hana to Chou- [Chapters 34-36]

Originally posted @ tatsukida.pitas.com on January 5, 2011

Chapter 34: Betrayal Ageha is shock to see Rena in Hayato’s embrace. She begins to wonder if the reason why he is was cold and made her leave is because Rena is coming to see him. Ageha hides in the corner and peeks out again. She cannot hear what they are talking and to her shock, Hayato invites Rena inside. She thought they already have an agreement that he can meet with Rena as long as it isn’t in his apartment. She can only think that if Hayato invited Rena in then he had betrayed her. Inside, Hayato is still into a guilt trip telling Rena that he should have saved Arisa first before the others. Rena is teary-eyed and says that she understands how he feels. Hayato couldn’t make himself forget how this guilt because he felt that if he did, he would totally lose Arisa. Thus, he is currently confused over how to feel and what to do. Rena holds his arm to comfort him. They were interrupted when Hayato’s phone starts ringing. It is Ageha. Hayato answers and almost became deaf when Ageha shouts, “Idiot!” Rena is puzzled by that. Hayato goes out of his apartment and looks around but to Ageha’s horror, Hayato just went inside his apartment with Rena. She couldn’t believe that he just went out for a minute then headed back in. [This part is blurry but I guess] Ageha is whining to her friends about what happened. Bibi caused more fear for Ageha when she asked if it was okay for him to just leave Hayato and Rena alone at night. Her friends ask if she would want to check on it and they can accompany her but Ageha stubbornly refuses to go since he treated her coldly a while ago, and she fears verifying the truth. They were surprised when Ageha’s phone is ringing and it is Hayato who is calling. Hayato asks about the reason she called. Ageha tells him that was two hours ago. Hayato just tells her that they should talk after her work. Ageha looks tense but says it is okay. She tells her friends about it. They are happy for her but Inoue notices that Ageha doesn’t looks pleased about it. At the park, Hayato is surprised that it is only Inoue who came to meet him. Inoue gives him a letter from Ageha and she quickly leaves. Ageha wrote him that she mentioned before that if he wanted to help Rena, she would help him but if he breaks his promise, she will feel very hurt about it. She asked him if he thought of her when he let Rena inside his apartment. Inoue heads to a restaurant and informs Ageha that she has given the letter. Ageha asks about Hayato’s expression. Inoue says that Hayato was shock like he was thinking ‘who are you’. Inoue asks if Ageha is still concerned about that. Ageha looks downcast. Inoue tells her that she didn’t smell that scent on Hayato and if she is that uneasy, she ought to go and talk with Hayato. Ageha is troubled for she still doubts Hayato and doesn’t want to confirm her suspicions.

At a park, Hana complains to Shinobu that she doesn’t want that grape juice, she wants soda. Shinobu angrily shouts that she just said that anything will do. Hana shouts back that he obviously knew that she likes soda. Shinobu retorts back that he doesn’t. Soon, Hana got her soda =P Shinobu laments that Hana is still quite headstrong. Hana happily tells him that he has become slick and sly, and his hairstyle is ‘fresh’ on him. Shinobu comments that she has a lot more thorns than before. Hana is shock by that comment. Shinobu says that it’s not bad since the thorns are also her charm. Hana looks surprised by this and admits to him that Ageha’s boyfriend also told her that. Hana then says that Shinobu doesn’t look surprised. Shinobu says of course because he always felt that Ageha had a boyfriend. Hana asks if he still has some extra feelings for Ageha. Shinobu admits that if he said no then he would be lying but he doesn’t want to ruin Ageha’s happiness. Hana asks why, for if he likes her then he should go get her. Shinobu tells her that before, he forced his feelings on Ageha that is why he failed. Hana cannot believe this for she has always been doing that because if she doesn’t do it, in accordance to what she thinks, she would feel uncomfortable about it. Shinobu says yes, that is why he broke up with her. Hana goes into shock over this. Shinobu smiles then breaks into laughter that Hana angrily exclaims that he was making fun of her. Meanwhile, Ageha is contemplating over using the tickets that Hayato gave her. She thought that if she used it before then things would be okay but then, it isn’t her goal to make love with him for she would just to feel that she is ‘special’. She laments as to why things ended up this way. She begins to regret rejecting Hayato’s invitation to talk. Remembering what Inoue told her, she decides to go out and talk with Hayato for this is the only resolution to this. On her way to his apartment, she sees Rena. Ageha confronts Rena if she is going to see Hayato. Rena hesitantly admits it. Ageha says that they did that before. She then begins to wonder if she is being sarcastic for saying that. Rena tells her that they aren’t doing anything that would make her worry and they are just talking about her sister. Flustered Ageha says that even if it is so, she shouldn’t be doing that in Hayato’s apartment. [Blurry again but I think Rena says something like what’s wrong with it.] Ageha says that some other girl shouldn’t go to one’s boyfriend’s place and of course, she would be unhappy about it. Rena says that even if Ageha is a high schooler, she is still a kid and can only look at things in front of her. She pities Hayato. That remark made Ageha red-faced. Rena tells Ageha that she won’t see Hayato today and just greet Hayato for her. Ageha is bothered by what Rena said especially since she used a tone of ‘she only knew’. At Hayato’s apartment, Hayato is surprised to see grumpy Ageha. Ageha enters inside and exclaims that Rena won’t be coming. Feeling very displeased, she grumpily sits down on the sofa with her arms crossed. Ageha exclaims if she didn’t come, he would Rena inside again. Hayato timidly says yes and he apologizes. Ageha even became more displeased upon learning that Hayato will keep on seeing Rena afterwards to talk with her. Flustered Ageha takes out her tickets. The ‘make love’ and ‘special’ are the ones showing. She tells him that is the exchange condition to let him keep on seeing Rena.

Chapter 35: Make Love Ticket Hayato is surprised by this. He looks at her then the tickets. He then asks her which ones of this she wants to use. Blushing Ageha exclaims that it is that ticket. Hayato holds out all of the tickets. To his shock, Ageha shouts that she wants to use all of the tickets. While Hayato is muttering about doing everything from kissing to sex, Ageha suddenly stands up and exclaims that she’s leaving. Hayato tries to stop her that he grabs her skirt. It made her fall flat on the floor ^^; Hayato sheepishly apologizes and says that it is just because he was shocked. Hayato says that it seems that she is really uneasy. He asks if he did all of that, would she be at ease. Ageha starts crying that Hayato hugs her and says, ‘so that’s how it is..’ At her house, Ageha’s mother is worried about Ageha since she isn’t home yet. While painting her nails, Hana asks her about calling Ageha. Her mother says that Ageha isn’t answering. Hana says that Ageha is probably with some guy. This made her father stand up and say that he’ll go out and buy something. Hana muses that he is going out to look for Ageha. Her mother laments that her husband didn’t even know where to look. Hana says that her father is still the same who’ll be very worried just because Ageha is mentioned. Her mother says that it is because they are his beloved daughters and hopefully that her husband won’t have bleeding blisters just like before. Hana asks what that is about. Her mother tells her that there was one time when Hana came home late at night, her husband would keep on running around and looking for her that when he came home, his feet is filled with bleeding blisters that it caused a ruckus then since he couldn’t even sleep at night in pain. Hana feels a bit guilty but she just says that it wasn’t necessary for him to look for her that he got himself hurt and she used to come home late before. Her mother tells her that even so, her husband would always worry about Hana if she was kidnapped or got into an accident that is why he was so worried that he would quarrel with her. She feels embarrassed as she remembers that her father asked her where she went when everyone is waiting for her and she would just say that she is at some guy’s place. Then, in the streets, Hana finds her father scratching his head and still looking around for Ageha. He turns around to see Hana. He is surprised that he runs to her asking where she is going late at night. Hana casually says that she’s looking for a guy. Her father looks aghast-shock that Hana cannot help but smile. She happily ribs him and tells him not to have that crying face. Her embarrassed father denies it.

Back at Hayato’s place, Hayato holds Ageha’s hand and kisses her. They hug then Hayato starts to undress her. As he kisses her, Ageha glances at the tickets on the table then she suddenly shouts for him to stop. She pushes him down and starts crying to apologize that this isn’t what she wanted. Later on, Hayato is sitting by balcony door while Ageha is still at the living room. [It is only now that I have a feeling that he doesn’t have a bedroom ^^;] Hayato asks her what she wanted him to do and how does she want him to treat her. She says that she cannot say it. He asks why. Ageha says that he will hate him if she says it. He asks why she would think so. Ageha says that because she also feels like she’s a kid and if she says it, he definitely can not stand it. Hayato is at a loss that he just says then, he won’t ask. Ageha is shock by that but Hayato continues to say that if he said that, she would feel very lonely again. He tells her to just say it and so what if it seems like she is a kid, if for her, it is something important. Ageha exclaims that whether she acts or not, she feels uneasy so she wants him to sincerely communicate with her. No matter when, he should call her, and she would want to be able to call/find him at all times. That way, she can be at ease and if he has something to do, it is to always prioritize her. Hayato looks surprised that after a moment, he says okay. It is now Ageha’s turn to be surprised. Hayato asks if that is what she wanted. Ageha says yes. Hayato says okay, he’ll do just that. Ageha starts to ask if that is okay. He says it is. She asks won’t it be a burden to him. Hayato asks if it will be a burden. Ageha says that it is for like that, he would have to always think of her the whole day. Hayato laughs and asks if she is that worried about him. Ageha says that is because it is really strange because her request is quite selfish/uninhibited yet he still just accepts it. Hayato then tells her that he is into some reflection after receiving her letter about whether he thought of her when he let Rena in. He confesses that he did not. When she called, it startled him but because he thought she would forgive him that is why he just let it be. He could be neglecting her feelings and it is probably true since he made her uneasy. He apologizes for hurting her a lot. Ageha feels sad about this. They were interrupted when Hayato’s phone starts ringing. Ageha asks if he isn’t going to answer it. Hayato says that he will later on. They realize that it is already 10pm. Hayato tells her that she should go home else her family will be worried again and he’ll walk her home. He asks her to wait since he’ll be going to the toilet.

Hayato’s cellphone stops ringing that Ageha looks at it and thinks that it was okay for him to answer it. She wonders if it is because she said that she wants him to prioritize her first. The phone starts ringing again that Ageha asks Hayato about it but Hayato tells her not to mind it. Soon, the cellphone is ringing for the third time. Ageha says that it could be important so Hayato tells her to answer it. She answers it and it is Rena. Rena asks if she is still there and where is Hayato. Ageha says that he is in the toilet and he asked him to answer the phone. Rena tells Ageha not to make things difficult for Hayato since he is suffering enough because of her sister. Ageha asks what she is talking about. Rena realizes that Hayato didn’t tell Ageha about it. This made Ageha asks her what about Arisa that Hayato is having trouble with and if that is the reason why he is acting strange. Rena tells her that Hayato has started to blame himself for not being able to rescue her sister and no matter how he thought of it, he felt really regretful over it. It is the first time Rena realized how fragile Hayato was. Ageha asks why it is happening now. Rena says that it is because it is now, and she thinks that because he no longer needs to be concerned about her, Hayato’s own problem re-surfaced. It is only after four long years when Hayato is finally dealing with his own grief. Rena thinks that it is starting to affect Hayato’s physical health. Ageha realizes that Hayato has been complaining about feeling tired and unwell lately. Rena tells Ageha that because she was blaming Hayato for it, that he already started to blame himself for it. Ageha then hears a loud thud from the toilet. Ageha looks at the direction and sees that Hayato has fallen on the floor. She quickly goes to him and asks if he is alright. Hayato seems to be wincing in pain. Ageha keeps on asking for him to answer her but Hayato seems to have fallen unconscious. While Rena is asking on the phone, which was on the floor, as to what happened, Ageha becomes frantic since Hayato’s hands are cold. Ageha starts to cry as she apologizes to Hayato since he is suffering and yet she is focusing on his shortcomings.

Chapter 36: Special Ticket After Hayato was brought to the hospital, he ended up being hospitalized. On the second day, the results are out and it is what Rena thought it was. Ageha returns home and tells Hana that Hayato has stomach ulcer. While eating an ice cream popsicle, Hana asks if Hayato will have surgery. Ageha says that it isn’t necessary and he’ll just have to eat some medicine. Hana is relieved that it is not a big deal. Ageha tells her that it will take three months to treat it and even if recovered from it, he would become susceptible if it occurs again. Hana asks how she knew about it so much. Ageha tells her that it was Rena who told her. She also says that ulcer is brought about by one’s own gastric acid dissolving the stomach wall. Hana freaks out over this and exclaims if it was such a great pressure for Hayato regarding that thing with Rena. Ageha sadly says that isn’t true for it was Rena who noticed early of Hayato’s pain and it was Rena who called for the ambulance when Hayato fell unconscious. Ageha adds that it was Rena who guided her regarding the things she should do in the hospital and Rena is actually quite amazing whereas she is just too shock over what happened that she couldn’t do anything. Ageha thinks that Hayato is already showing a lot of SOS [/danger] signs yet she didn’t notice it for in her heart, she is only concerned about herself. She blames herself as the one who had pressured Hayato. At the hospital, Ageha comes in with some flowers and thinks that Hayato is sleeping. She notices that Hayato is wincing in pain in his sleep and is calling for Arisa. It seems that Hayato is having a nightmare that Ageha shouts for him not to be like that, he didn’t do anything wrong and not to blame himself anymore. Hayato suddenly wakes up when she calls him ‘sensei’. Hayato sees her teary-eyed that he quickly backs away from her in shock and shouts, sorry. The two then looks surprised at each other. Hayato wonders why he is apologizing. Rena comes in to check on Hayato’s condition. She notes that Ageha is also there. Rena asks if he has a fever, if he already drinks his medicine, etc. Hayato tells her that his stomach doesn’t feel good and why she is asking all this when she isn’t the doctor. Rena tells him that it is because she is concerned about him. Rena asks when it starts to hurt. Hayato says that it is around the time of the Obon festival. Hayato then notices that Ageha looks downcast. Hayato apologizes to Rena and tells her that they’ll talk again later. When Rena asked why, Hayato gestures to Ageha and says that he is currently talking with her. Ageha realizes that it is because she told him to prioritize her. Rena apologizes for being rude and leaves.

Flustered, Ageha tells Hayato to forget about what happened before. Hayato is puzzled that he asks why. She tells him that she has already told him of his complaint and she feels better so she doesn’t mind it anymore. Hayato smiles and says that it cannot be and after everything, there is no need for her to resist it. Ageha denies she is resisting it. She shouts at him that she doesn’t feel about him who is sick to worry about her. She tells him not to talk about that anymore and just concentrate on getting well. After that outburst, Ageha runs off hoping that he won’t be troubled about her anymore. Hayato grabs his IV to run after her but his ulcer starts to act up again. Ageha’s phone starts ringing but she didn’t answer it because she doesn’t want to be a burden to him. Hana arrives at the hospital and notices Ageha sitting outside. She wonders what Ageha is doing there. Hana is shock to see that Hayato is walking around with his IV while trying to look for Ageha. Hayato is really worried about Ageha that he cannot leave her alone like that. Hana guides Hayato to where she has seen Ageha but Ageha is no longer there. Hana tries to call Ageha but just like Hayato, she couldn’t contact her. Noticing that Hayato is in pain, Hana urges him to go back to his room but Hayato stubbornly wants to look for Ageha. Worried about him, Hana decides that she’ll also look for her twin. At some park, Ageha watches a caterpillar and remembers Hayato telling her about ‘butterflies in the stomach’. She starts to lament about not changing and wonders what she ought to do. Hana finds her and shouts what she is doing when Hayato is looking for her. Soon, the two are running to where Hayato is. Ageha asks if Hayato is okay. Hana shouts at her twin as to how Hayato can be okay when he looked really awful. Hana tells her that Hayato doesn’t want to go to his room because he cannot leave Ageha pondering on things by herself. Soon, they find Hayato who smiled at them. Suddenly, he puked blood. The twins and Hayato looks shocked. Hayato pukes again before collapsing. [<- I think this is over the top ^^;] Hana screams out in fright. Soon, Rena tells the worried sick twins that Hayato is alright and he vomited blood because his stomach ruptured. Hana exclaims that there is a lot of blood. Rena says that it is because of the acid that it seemed that there is a lot of blood. Ageha worried asks if Hayato is going to die. Rena smiles at Ageha and tells her that he won’t. She asks if she can see him. Rena says that right now he needs to rest after the surgery but she can see him tomorrow.

At home, Ageha is still in shock over that horrifying scene that she really thought that Hayato is going to die. She begins to think that if he died, she would probably feel the regret that Hayato is currently experiencing regarding Arisa. At the hospital, Ageha meets with Marui at the elevator. Marui says that he came to check up on Hayato after he heard that he vomited blood but it seems that he is quite energetic like before. Ageha is somewhat relieved over that. Marui is going to leave when he notices as if Ageha wants to tell him something. Ageha asks him about that poem he mentioned before when she first consult him. Marui remembers it and says that it is ‘Gestalt Prayer’. [<- by Friedrich Perls. ‘I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped. Source: wiki] Ageha asks him to recite it again for her. She then goes to check on Hayato. Hayato is in high spirits as he welcomes her in. Hayato starts telling her about how shock he was when he puked blood that he thought he is going to die. He then happily tells her about his experience in the operating room. Ageha sadly looks at him and thinks that if she stays by his side, she will make things difficult for him. She holds a piece of paper tight in her hand. She remembers the poem that Marui recited then she holds out a special ticket to Hayato. Puzzled, Hayato asks what about it. He is surprised when she tells him, “Let’s break up.” And I begin to wonder if Rena is right that Ageha is still a kid that she isn’t ready for a relationship. She has been jumping into conclusions and doing everything what she thinks is right and when they talk, it seems that she is dictating her terms. Unfortunately, she is somehow making it worse. It doesn’t help either that Hayato breaks his promise, still meets with his ex-crush and isn’t telling Ageha about his problem. Well, it does seem to be the right thing to break up or at least, a cool off for them to sort their own problems and know what they really want..okay, it is more on Hayato sorting out his problem especially since Ageha cannot rely on him right now or be lovey-dovey just like before because of his current issue. Anyway, at least Hana has realized how loved she was by her father and it seems that she and Shinobu are now in good terms.

There is a short story of the author regarding her assistant A at the end of volume 7. I think it is amusing so I’ll mention it. It was only when her assistant is eight months pregnant when she realizes that she is pregnant. When the author thinks about it in detail, assistant A would refuse certain types of food but it never occurred to the assistant, that she was pregnant. It is only when her abdomen is protruding when she realized it. Afterwards, she keeps on working even if she is pregnant. The author doesn’t find it odd because she also worked until she is about to give birth. One day, assistant A asks what kind of pain is it if one is about to give birth. The author cannot quite explain it since it has been a long time. The author starts to panic and asks if it is hurting now. Assistant A says yes. The author asks when it started. She says that around 3 in the morning. It is already 5 minutes before noon time. The author starts telling her that normally, one doesn’t go to work like that. She asks about the contractions. Assistant A says that it happens every 10 minutes. The author goes into panic mode since she might give birth soon. She orders her assistant to get ready to go to the hospital and she’ll drive her to the train station. Since she is oblivious over situation, assistant A just says that she’ll go home first and make a night appointment before going to the hospital. The author exclaims that even if there is no appointment, she can go see the doctor. She goes into shock when assistant A says okay but she is going to take a bath first. While she is taking a bath, the author ponders why she isn’t in a hurry, is it because it is her first time and it doesn’t hurt so much but then, she [author] did waste two days before the actual birth. She starts to compare her own experience with the assistant’s and wonder if she should be nervous or not. Then, the author’s husband came home and she informs him about the situation. On the way to the train station, the assistant would even happily mention what if the train stops and what if she gives birth on the train. Soon, at the train, assistant A is in great pain. She starts asking for help from the other passengers. They help call the conductor and ask for a doctor. Later on, assistant A is in the ambulance. The medical guys say that she is going to give birth really soon. They were surprised when assistant A is pushing hard in pain. They tell her not to but she tells them that it is coming out. So, they use some scissors to cut through the pants and the baby was born in the ambulance. That day was January 19. So, in the end, assistant A only had like a half month pregnancy which others cannot believe if the author tells them about it. The author and assistant A thanks everyone who had helped especially those passengers in the train and sorry for the trouble. Thanks to everyone, the baby was safely delivered and the miracle baby is healthy even if the child came out earlier than expected. So, the lesson here according to the author is everyone isn’t the same [body/experiences] so don’t compare oneself with someone else.

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