Originally posted @ tatsukida.pitas.com on December 20, 2010
Flashback: Five years ago, at National Medicine College [Specialized] Hospital, a doctor told young Saaya that the tumor is benign so there is really nothing to worry about but rather, it is only located at a place that is a bit problematic. It is necessary for them to totally take it out in order not to damage the surrounding tissue. Since it is in a relatively sensitive location, the surgery would be a bit troublesome. He assured her not to worry because there is a new medicine discovered. He also told them that if the medicine they will give her can make the tumor smaller then the surgery would really become easier to perform. Saaya is to drink the medicine for three months before they’ll have the surgery. “Let’s do our best, Saaya.” Without emotion, Saaya said, yes. While the doctor is talking to Saaya’s mother, Saaya thought that the chances of dying are still high. Even if it isn’t clearly told to her, she knew that her mother would secretly cry and her father won’t dare look at her eyes. While thinking that she will die soon, two young boys pulled the curtain to the side and peeked in. They call out to Dr. Kitsukawa and asked if that girl is the one who just got hospitalized. While the boys are hiding behind Kitsukawa and looking at Saaya, Kitsukawa tried to reprimand them for suddenly coming in on their own. Kitsukawa decided to drop the subject and just introduce the two boys to Saaya. They are Natsume Misaki and Furuya Yukito. Kitsukawa told Saaya that the two boys were admitted to the hospital because they have the same ailment as Saaya’s and they also are in grade 5, just like Saaya. They’ve always anticipated her upon learning that there will be a girl who is as old as them who is going to be hospitalized. “So, you guys, get along with each other.” Saaya looked surprised upon learning that they have the same ailment. And, she quickly got along really well with the two guys. Outside the hospital [probably at the park area], sitting on the grass, the three are talking together. Misaki said that he heard that in order to test the new drug’s potency, ten patients from all over the country has been gathered there. He is from Hyogo while Yuki is from Kanagawa. Yuki said that most of the patients are first year high school students and according to the doctor, there are a lot of young patients with this sickness this year. Misaki agreed and only the three of them are in the elementary grade. Then, Yuki gossiped to Misaki that he heard that Dr. Kitsukawa has already divorced once. Misaki is surprised to hear this. Saaya happily watched them and thought that because it is the first time for her to have ‘comrades’, who were suffering with the same illness and who can mutually understand each other in everything. “Be it fear of dying, making our parents sad, loneliness at school, jealous over healthy friends and all sorts of feelings, we can mutually understand each other. And as we pass the days together, it seems like we are all family. *There is a scene of Yuki introducing his sister to Saaya while Misaki introduced his older and younger brothers to Saaya.* And because the two of them are there, life at the hospital isn’t that sad. They are my very important comrades--” End flashback.
Saaya tells Chitose that both guys have fallen for her and this is natural outcome because they are always together and on contrary, it would be unnatural if they didn’t. Chitose asks what about her. Saaya admits that she has fallen for Yuki. “Because Yuki, no matter what[/when], is very kind.” Flashback: Flustered young Saaya complained to the two boys that she still needs to have the surgery. She is very afraid since the success rate is 20%. Yuki smiled and assured her that if the medicine has been used, the success rate will become 70%. Saaya whined that it isn’t high enough for three out of ten people can die. Misaki exclaimed for her not to say that because if they didn’t have the surgery, the chances of them dying is 100%. “So, let us all do our best!” Yuki smiled and assured Saaya that there will be no problem at all. Misaki is the type who’ll encourage by admonishing her while Yuki encourages by smiling. Yuki smiled and reassured her that the surgeon is a famous doctor and Dr. Kitsukawa will also be there during the surgery so it will definitely succeed. Saaya thought that Yuki ought to be also be uneasy but he doesn’t show it and he is always only smiles while staying by her side. Yuki’s kindness is a huge comfort for her that she unconsciously has fallen for him. One night, while Yuki is reading in his room, Saaya went to visit him. Yuki asked what it is for it is late and there is also the curfew. Saaya gestured for him to be quiet. She then told him, “I like you, Yuki, I want to go steady with you.” Yuki blushed in surprise over this. He also admitted that he likes her but Misaki also likes her. Saaya said that she knows and she also really treasures Misaki that she doesn’t want to hurt him so they should keep this a secret. Yuki looked surprised. While leaning towards him, Saaya kissed him and told him to ‘please’ [keep it a secret]. End flashback. Present Saaya says that perhaps during those times, she’s quite fidgety because there is a possibility that they won’t become adults so they would want to experience romantic love. “Like that, we betrayed Misaki and ruined our [three of us] world.. At one side, it is the same as before wherein we, three pass the time together, and on the other side, I and Yuki hide from Misaki to create our own ‘getting along’ time. We would secretly kiss in the hospital library. We would take advantage of the loophole during the nurses’ scheduled rounds and meet in the room at midnight. Later on, it is finally the day of the surgery--”
Flashback: In the room, Saaya and Yuki held hands while sitting on the bed. Yuki said that it is finally here. Since Saaya didn’t reply, Yuki said that it will be alright for he heard that high school student’s surgery was a success so Misaki’s surgery will definitely be a success, too. Saaya said ya. They looked at each other then blushed. They kissed then noticed that someone is looking at them. They look at the side to see stunned Misaki. Misaki blushed then exclaimed his apology [for intruding]. He quickly ran away even if they called out to him. So, the worst case scenario happened. It turned out that before his surgery, Misaki managed to get some time to see them. Even if they quickly went out to chase after him, it is already too late for he was already wheeled in the operating room. Afterwards, he didn’t come out again. End flashback. Crying Saaya tells teary-eyed Chitose that they obviously wanted to apologize to Misaki but until the end, they weren’t able to say that sentence of ‘I’m sorry’. Much later on, Saaya and Yuki’s surgery had been successful. The day when Yuki is about to be released from the hospital, Yuki cried-- feeling guilty = guilt of betraying Misaki, because he died while Yuki lived, and guilt of feeling happy that he was saved. Chitose protests that it cannot be helped for it isn’t wrong to be happy that one is saved. Saaya agreed with her and from logic’s side, it is true but actually, Chitose hasn’t encountered that situation wherein one’s important person had died yet one is happy that one has lived on. “That feeling, that ‘taking the blame’ kind of feeling that one cannot say out, and it is to no avail no matter how one consoles oneself about it rationally. *looks at Chitose* You have not gone through this kind of feeling, right? *Chitose looks flustered* I totally understand Yuki’s feelings. We would embrace each other and cried painfully together. Afterwards, we decided that the two of us will do our best in living on with Misaki’s part. Yuki told me that ‘I will protect Saaya throughout my life, because Saaya is also the girl that Misaki liked.’” Chitose looks slightly flustered. After they were released from the hospital, they went to their respective hometowns to live. Even if they meet each other only twice or thrice a month, things still went on smoothly because their bonds are quite firm. But, when second year junior high is about to end, there is a gradual change. Saaya smiles and says that they noticed that they aren’t compatible. Chitose looks surprised over this. Saaya says that their love was born because of a special circumstance. When their illnesses were cured, being in the same situation as the people surrounding them, they realized that they were attracted to each other when basically, they aren’t each other’s type. Even if she obviously was attracted to Yuki’s kindness but she felt as if he is lacking something..she thinks she’s quite selfish. “But we cannot break up, because we have a promise, since we’ve hurt Misaki and actually, this relationship cannot be easily destroyed. Of course, we don’t hate each other, so even if we felt that we weren’t compatible, we continued on going steady with each other.”
Flashback: While in a restaurant and drinking something with Saaya, Yuki got a call on his cellphone. He turned down the person whom he is talking with by saying that he cannot go on that day and sorry. After he hanged up, Saaya asked who it was. He said that it is a girl from his class. Saaya asked if he has been asked on a date. Yuki admitted that it is true and he already told that girl he has a girlfriend yet she won’t give up. Saaya looked thoughtful. Then, to his surprise, Saaya suggested that they try out dating other people because they’ve always limit themselves to each other and they are pretty much at their limit. She told him that perhaps it is also good for them to have fun with other people for a change of pace [/mood] but they should tell the other first of having a lover already. “In order for us to last long, it is necessary that we sometimes have a break from each other. I will also try it out with this sempai who always invites me on a date.” After a pause, Yuki tried to protest that even if she said that but.. Saaya smiled and urged him to go and try it. Yuki asked about kissing. Saaya said that it is probably okay up to that degree then, she’ll also go kissing [with other guys]. End flashback. Saaya happily tells Chitose that it is a very clear agreement and it makes them look again for that ‘fresh feeling’ towards each other. Going out with others, they would recognize again each other’s strengths and at the end, it is very important for them to be with the ones whom they are most comfortable with. Thus, they can once again become very good lovers. Saaya sadly says that later on, she realized that there will be a time when they would encounter that one whom they will feel a bit of guilt for playing around with. ”The one whom one truly likes.” Chitose blushes when Saaya says that for Yuki, it is Chitose. Chitose goes into shock when Saaya admits that for her, it is Shun. Saaya continues to say that she gave up on Shun because Yuki is more important for her and she absolutely cannot leave him. “Even if it isn’t romantic love anymore, but I love him. We commonly share a lot of painful and shameful memories. Compared to anyone else, we understand each other really well. If I don’t have Yuki, I won’t be able to live on. Ah, Chitose, why do you like Yuki? If it’s a good looking and kind-hearted Tokyo guy, even if it isn’t Yuki, you can like that person right? But for me, if it isn’t Yuki, it won’t do at all! Even if I withdraw now, my and Yuki’s bonds will still won’t change. Chitose, can you bear a girl who knows more and mutually understand your boyfriend? *teary-eyed* I beg of you, please don’t steal Yuki away..!” Chitose looks flustered shock.
Later on, Saaya’s ex-tutor drives Chitose back home. Chitose is surprised when the ex-tutor asked if she was bullied by Saaya. Chitose tells him no, it isn’t that. The ex-tutor asks if it is so because she looks depressed. He tells her that even if Saaya is strong[-willed] but she is naturally good so get along with her well. Chitose just says yes. Soon, Chitose thanks the ex-tutor for driving her. After the ex-tutor drove away, she is surprised to hear Yuki calling out to her from behind. Yuki tells her that Saaya called him to say that she called her [Chitose] to her house and told her [Chitose] everything. “She said that, ‘Chitose is very fair and reasonable’..” Yuki looks surprised upon seeing Chitose looking flustered and quiet. Chitose tells him that in the end, she couldn’t take him away from Saaya. Yuki shouts his name but Chitose shouts back, “Because! Because Saaya cannot lose you no matter what, and compared to Saaya, my love is too superficial.. that it cannot be talked about in equal terms. (Five years together, with the same painful experience.) I don’t have the confidence to exceed the bonds between you and Saaya..! (I cannot exceed!)” Yuki shouts that it doesn’t matter whether she can exceed it or not, this has nothing to do with the past. “Saaya..is a very important existence, but the one I like right now is you, Chitose!” Chitose looks flustered and teary-eyed. She thanks him. “I’m very, very happy..but, it is enough to have you say that. I’m already very satisfied. Please be like before and..return to Saaya’s side--” Yuki hugs her tight and shouts, “I don’t want to! No! I won’t give up!” Chitose thinks that she also really likes Yuki but-- Chitose pushes him away and exclaims that they can’t. Crying, Chitose exclaims, “I’m sorry..!” before running off. Yuki can only call to her to no avail. Yuki looks a bit flustered and helpless. In her bedroom, Chitose sadly thinks that the one whom is fated to be with Yuki is still Saaya and not her. She tells herself that it is enough that he likes her and to have some of these memories [with him]. “I can depend on these and just bear with it. I should..let go.” Chitose then breaks down and cries again.
Later on, Chitose happily looks at three boxes filled with lots of food. Chitose says that it’s a lot and if it is what’s called as ‘Osechi ryori’ [= traditional Japanese New Year foods. Osechi are easily recognizable by their special boxes called jubako, which resemble bento boxes. Source: wiki]. Chitose says that it looks beautiful, exquisite, and luxurious that it seems to be a waste to eat it. Holding a small covered bowl, Tadashi says that there is also this, zoni soup [Japanese soup containing mochi rice cakes. Source: wiki. Ah, the Chinese translation is braised mochi but since that soup is eaten during New Year, so I edited it.] Tadashi says that he tried making it even if it was Chitose who bought it. Chitose opens the cover and says that it is fragrant and looks really delicious. She exclaims that it’s great to have New Year ingredients in the soup. She happily says, “Itadakimasu! Ah, it’s really delicious-” Tadashi smiles while watching her eat. He says that it’s good that she is finally smiling again. He expresses his concern for her since she has been looking very gloomy at the end of the year. Chitose apologizes for that and assures her brother that she is alright for it is already New Year and it is no use even if she’s depressed. She happily exclaims that everything will go up. [<- I think like when one is down, there is nowhere to go but up.] Tadashi happily says that they should go to the hatsumode [first shrine visit of the New Year in Japan. Source: wiki] later on and there is a very huge and spectacular shrine nearby. Chitose happily agrees. Just then, her cellphone rings. Chitose answers it and it is Shun. She happily greets him a Happy New Year and says that it has been a long time. Shun says yes and asks her if she is in Tokyo or in Okinawa. Chitose says that she’s in Tokyo because her brother is very busy at work that is why they weren’t able to go back to their hometown. Shun tells her to occasionally call or email him even if he also didn’t call nor email her. Chitose apologizes to him and admits that she actually has forgotten about his existence. Shun exclaims in shock over this and asks what kind of joke is that for weren’t things going well for them during the Christmas party. Chitose sweatdrops and apologizes again. She tells him that is true but then, something else related to that happened. “Regarding that thing, I want to see you and properly talk.” Shun looks surprised. Shun asks if they can go to the hatsumode today. Chitose suggests to him about the shrine that is near her house. After hanging up, Chitose apologizes to her brother for she is going to the hatsumode with Shun. She asks if he wants to go with them. Smiling Tadashi says no for he would just be a hindrance, the two of them should go. Tadashi then has an idea and tells her that if she is going with her boyfriend, then--
Later on, Shun is pleasantly surprised to see Chitose wearing a kimono. Shun exclaims that he didn’t expect her to wear a kimono and it really looks nice. Chitose giggles and says that her brother made her wear it. She explains that there is a character in her brother’s work who wears a kimono so he wanted to know how a kimono is worn. “This kimono is used for classical [/literature] kimono research ♡” Blushing a bit and covering his face, Shun says, “..Kaneshiro, I..have this very small dream of stripping a girl of her kimono, can I?” Blushing really red, Chitose exclaims, “You rotten..!!” At the shrine, Chitose prays that everyone will be healthy and happy this new year. Shun asks if she wants to get some fortunes. Chitose says okay. Chitose gets ‘small blessing’[/slightly good luck] while Shun gets ‘near blessing’ [/uncertain luck] which Shun finds quite vague. He then asks her what is it that she wanted to tell him. Chitose looks serious. As they tie their fortunes, Chitose asks if the person Shun said that he couldn’t forget is Saaya. Looking surprised, Shun asks if Saaya told her. Chitose sadly says yes and earlier, Saaya went to see her and told her about her history with Yuki from the time they met up to the present. Chitose says that Saaya told her the reason for seeing her and her [Chitose’s] story starts when she with Yuki was on their way home from the Christmas party. After Chitose told him everything, Shun says that for Saaya to even drag out the thing during their elementary years can really agitate anyone but because there is a deceased friend involved, it can cause a special kind of stubbornness. Chitose is just quiet. Shun says, “—so in brief, even if Yuki confessed to you, you’ve already rejected him, so in the end, it is still the same as before.” Chitose is puzzled. Shun says that he is saying that no matter if it’s Yuki and Saaya or if it’s Chitose and him, it is still the same as before. Chitose sweatdrops and asks if that is so, for isn’t it over with them. Shun asks why. Flustered Chitose says that it is because she still likes Yuki even if she has given up on him. Frowning, Shun asks that wasn’t she like that from the beginning and in order to give up on Yuki, she has gone steady with him. Chitose sweatdrops again and says that even if it is like that but..she obviously went steady with him yet she answered ‘yes’ to Yuki so she should no longer have any right to be Shun’s girlfriend anymore. Shun tells her that is alright, he forgives her. Chitose says, but she also knows about the thing between Shun and Saaya. Shun exclaims that is already over. Pointing at her, Shun exclaims, “It’s the same as before, you are still my girlfriend! Understand?!” Chitose looks surprise and still want to protest when she notices that Shun looks surprised. She looks at the direction where Shun is looking. It is Yuki with his sister, Yuka. Yuka happily greets Chitose and Shun. Shun and Chitose just look at her and slightly flustered Yuki.
Oblivious of the issue between the three, Yuka happily exclaims that Chitose’s kimono is so cute and it suits her. Chitose thanks her. Chitose and Yuki look at each other and somewhat blushes. To everyone’s surprise, Shun suddenly puts his arm around Chitose and pulls her to him. Leading Chitose away, Shun tells the two siblings that they already visited the shrine so they are going ahead. A bit surprised, Yuka just wave and bid them goodbye. After they left, Yuka happily says that Chitose looks really cute in the kimono. While wondering if Chitose specially wore a kimono for Shun, Yuki agrees that she’s really cute. Noticing the look on his face while looking towards where the couple left, Yuka asks him what the matter is. Yuki looks surprised. Yuka says that it is quite mystifying for Shun to still blatantly show ‘she is mine’ after all that has happened up to now. “Did something happen?” Pausing a bit, Yuki sadly smiles and says nothing happened. Yuka doesn’t look convinced. On the way down from the shrine, Chitose tries to tell Shun that it is very embarrassing so please take off his.. Chitose then notices that Shun has a glum look that she realizes that he isn’t going to listen to her. Shun asks her if she can make everything the same as it was before and if there won’t be any trouble doing so. Chitose sweatdrops and says that there is no problem but then, is this the right thing to do. Shun tells her that without his help, can she still continue to refuse Yuki. Chitose looks shock as she realizes that what Shun said is true. “If Yuki continues to force me, I might feel very happy again that I could not refuse him. If that is so, then I would once again hurt Saaya..! If I have Akaishi-kun to be my shield [/excuse] then..” Chitose then exclaims that she’ll be under his care. Shun says she answered well. In front of Chitose’s house, Chitose bids Shun goodbye and says that she’ll email him. Shun looks serious. He then reminds Chitose that this time around, it is Chitose who rejected Yuki and it isn’t ‘there is no other way and I was rejected by Yuki’. “And it is your own initiative to decide and give [Yuki] to Saaya. So, you have to be more serious in doing your best to thoroughly give him up.” Chitose looks flustered and says, yes. Shun pinches her cheek and tells her to quickly be infatuated with him. “Yuki can also accept this and you can also be at ease.” Chitose says that she knows and she will do her best. Shun quietly thinks that Chitose [/her cheek] seems like mochi and he would want to eat some when he gets home. Shun bids her goodbye and left. Looking at him as he left, Chitose thinks that towards Shun, it is only a kind of like.. “I would want to like Akaishi-kun more than Yuki-kun, but what is the best thing for me to do..”
Later on, as Yuki and his sister are leaving the shrine, Yuki gets an email from Saaya who asked him if he can go to her house for them to hang out. There is no reaction on Yuki’s face. Soon, Yuki and Saaya are watching a DVD movie. Saaya says that movie is one of a kind and it isn’t easy to borrow it. Yuki says yes and is there any other she wants to watch, like the one she mentioned before which he seems to a tape of.. He is surprise when Saaya clings on to him and tries to kiss him. Yuki looks away and tells surprised Saaya that he can’t. “I cannot do that kind of thing with you again. ..I won’t.” Flustered Saaya asks if it is because he likes Chitose. Yuki admits that it is true. Saaya exclaims that Chitose has already withdrawn. Yuki firmly tells her that they already cannot become lovers anymore and she ought to already know this, too. “Since a long time ago, what is left between us is already just the feeling of what one has with one’s family. There is no longer any feeling between a boy and a girl. Even if we deliberately kissed and had H [/sex], in the end, it won’t work at all. It is too unnatural. We should choose other romantic partners. *Saaya looks flustered* Even if we’re not lovers, you are still very precious to me and for me, you are someone whose existence is irreplaceable. As good friends, I’ll forever be your support--” Teary-eyed Saaya defiantly says no, it is only this breaking up which she doesn’t agree to. “Misaki won’t allow us to break up.” Yuki looks stunned over this. Saaya cries that it is okay if they don’t do anything, it is fine if he just stays by her side. “Please do not go to someone else’s side. Without you, I cannot..” Saaya starts sobbing with her hands covering her face. Yuki ends up holding her head to him to comfort her. At school, while eating lunch together with Shun, Chitose looks a bit worried and tells Shun that today is the start of their club activity. Shun says yes. Chitose feels her heart is heavy for she doesn’t know how to face both Yuki and Saaya. She thinks that it will definitely be awkward and also, what of Shun..
At the club, Midoriko happily says that on February, it is Valentines’ Day, then on March, it is Graduation then on April, there will be new students. Midoriko says that even if it isn’t as grand as the school festival or the Christmas party but the schedule is quite tight so they should drum up some enthusiasm for this. Everyone [Chitose not shown] holds up their hand/arm and exclaims ya [though Shun look bored]. Someone asks what they will do on Valentine’s Day because before it is always holding an event. Someone says that they should look at the data file and see what was done last year. Another one says that it is recorded in a DVD so they should watch it again. Chitose looks surprise and nervous for everyone is acting really normal and they are so mature. She thinks that this is okay to just blend in else it would be too troublesome for Midoriko and Kanata. “I should also show that everything’s normal.” Chitose screams in shock when Saaya calls out to her and asks her to be the first to check on the last five year’s data. Chitose gloomily thinks that it is really hard to act normal. Chitose looks a bit flustered when Saaya smiles at her. Looking at Saaya and Yuki talking to each other while Saaya is holding some cds, Chitose thinks that the two has probably reconciled and Yuki hasn’t talked to her about anything since then. “This will be fine, althought..there is still some pain. It’s alright, I still have Akaishi-kun. I definitely, can forget..” Chitose didn’t know but Midoriko has noticed. For Midoriko, Chitose’s actions are very obvious and suspicious. Chitose looks aghast as she clumsy drop all of the contents from the envelope. Midoriko thinks that those other three, even if they pretend to be calm and quiet, but the mood is faintly tense. “Something definitely happened between them but forget it, it doesn’t matter as long as it doesn’t affect the club activity.” On the other side, Kanata has also vaguely noticed it. A note says that Kanata is unexpectedly the type who has this wild intuition of feeling the mood of the situation/people. Later on, Shun is walking at the hallway when he notices that Yuki is waiting for him by his classroom. Yuki tells Shun that he wants to talk to him so can they after school. Shun says it’s okay, even if it’s right now. While the teacher is lecturing, Chitose looks at the empty seat beside her. She thinks that Shun is there a while ago so what could have happened to him.