Chapter 47: After Shishio asked what she’ll do if he resigns from
his teaching job, Susume asks why so sudden, why he is going to resign and
where he is going. “I’ll also go with you!” Then, Shishio laughs and says that
he’s kidding. He apologizes for he isn’t resigning. “Let me say. Let’s end this
‘kind of relationship’.” Susume repeats ‘this relationship’..what. Shishio says
that [they] go back to the very start, everything, back to ordinary teacher and
student relationship. This puzzles Susume that she wonders what’s going on that
he is suddenly saying this. Clenching her fist, she tells him that she doesn’t
quite understand what he means and what’s going on. He says that generally, he
vaguely feels that what she consider to be like[/love] is closer to the feeling
of longing. “There should be a more suitable partner whom you can sincerely go
steady with. That person is definitely not me.” Susume wonders what he is
saying and why is he using that seems like ‘it’s ending’ tone. Susume says, “I
I really like sensei.. Why..would you say that kind of words..?” He looks at
her and looks down. He tells her that so-called ‘like’ isn’t forcing oneself to
smile when one is lonely. “It isn’t forcing oneself to work. It isn’t upon hearing
that I’m going to resign this teaching job and you’ll say that you’ll go with
me. It is also not telling the other of one’s birthday. I think it is
definitely not like that.” Susume thinks, “Stop. I don’t want [what I] see in
front to become pitch black. I don’t want for my breath to be labored. My brain
to become confused. [My] heart..” Susume asks him what he is using this ‘it
won’t do’ tone. “But sensei, didn’t you said before that I’m like a shooting
star. Towards me, *tear on eye* could it be that it isn’t like?” Shishio closes
his eyes and says, “It isn’t like. *Susume is stunned* I’m sorry.” Shishio
leaves the room as Susume recalls all their memories together before. Susume
thinks that there is a sound of smashing [in her heart]. As the students go
back to their classroom after lunch, Mamura thinks that Susume is quite late.
He overhears some students asking if anyone knows where Shishio is when Shishio
obviously told him to give this [notebook] to him during lunch break but he
couldn’t find him. Mamura offers to be the one who’ll give it to Shishio. The
blushing guy wonders if Mamura thinks of him..^^; Then, Mamura calls out to
Yuyuka to come with him. This surprises blushing Yuyuka for that is quite rare.
Yuyuka happily asks where they are going and why her. He tells her to the
social data room. Yuyuka tries to say that right now, they don’t need to go
there and Shishio is possibly at some other place. Mamura says no, if it isn’t
now.
Yuyuka wonders if Mamura knows
everything and he’s too obvious that she doesn’t know why she is a bit
frustrated. Then, she notices something outside. By the bench, Shishio is
sitting all by himself and smoking. Yuyuka thinks that he is by himself and not
in the data room so that means.. Then, Mamura notices Susume all by herself in
the data room by the window. Mamura tells Yuyuka to go to the data room. In the
room, Susume recalls Shishio’s rejection. She thinks that after crying so many
tears, she thought that it is definitely fate. “Before me, my sight rapidly
becomes blurry. *Just when Yuyuka is calling out to her what’s happening, she
notices that Susume is crying* The shooting star already cannot be seen.”
Outside, Shishio recalls Susume asking if he doesn’t like her. He mutters, “do
like..” Narration: “My romance [romantic] love is currently dying.” Chapter 48: Narration: “There is obviously a way to resolve this
without hurting her more, right. I’ve always thought over this.” Flashback [to
first meeting]: Shishio complained that she obviously came here by herself and
could it be that he’s just a good friend and what is that guy thinking. While
he is thinking of someone who is obviously from the province, he noticed tired
Susume by the bench. He bent down and thought that she has a fever. Looking at
her, he smiled and thought that her forehead is quite round like a child. End
flashback. Mamura calls out to Shishio and asks what he did to Susume. Shishio
tells him that class is already starting but Mamura says that thing doesn’t
matter at all, in the end, what he did to Susume. To Mamura’s irritation,
Shishio puts his arm around him. Shishio tells him that there is already no
class today and accompany him for a while. “If you want to hit me, then you can
also do it later on. I’ve hurt, Chunchun. I told her that we go back to our
original relationship. I told that girl that I don’t like [her] and actually,
it’s a lie.” Mamura goes, ha?, don’t joke around. Looking at the side, Shishio
says that he isn’t joking and he won’t joke about this matter. “If she is with
me, it will definitely make her sacrifice a lot of things on her side and I
only don’t want that kind of thing to happen. It is the first time because it’s
very important and don’t know what to do it well. (That day. That second. The
moment the window curtain is pulled open. [I’m] already seriously wounded. Perhaps,
it is a wound that will continue throughout my life. Already cannot be cured.
Impossible to avoid and also cannot say half-hearted words. Cannot properly
express with words. ‘This isn’t like; sorry’ [<- what he told Susume] Such a clumsy[/stupid]
lie is I’ve already put out my utmost effort.)” Mamura replies, “Utterly boring-
You are only talking nonsense trying to find an excuse. The important point is
you hurt that girl on your own [initiative] then run away, right. It is only
that.”
Shishio says yes, actually it is
like what he said and if he wants to hit him, take the opportunity of doing it
now, and for now, spare the face, whatever is okay. Mamura tells him, “Hurting
you whatever has nothing to do with me. Wouldn’t it be better for you to be
like this, be [self-]engrossed all by yourself?” After Mamura left, Shishio
mutters that he said it in such a cool way and how come he thinks that kid is
secretly growing tall. “Being compared to him, it would only show my bad.
Really, very disappointing--” At the data room, just as Yuyuka is asking what
happened, she sees Susume crying. She asks why she is crying and what happened
with Shishio. Recalling what happened, Susume wipes her tears and says that it
is nothing, sorry, it’s really nothing. Yuyuka suggests that she goes home
first today. After protesting at first, Susume agrees. Yuyuka asks if it is
okay if she didn’t go with her. Susume says yes, thank you. A bit tense, Yuyuka
just quietly looks at her. At home, Susume removes her coat and socks, then
jumps into the bed. Her brain kept on repeating what happened. Then, her
cellphone is ringing. It is her mother who says that it has been a long time
and is she well. She says that she just arrived home and it is quite cold here.
Since Susume isn’t answering, her mother calls out to her. Susume just says,
ya. Her mother asks what it is, is she depressed. She says that she is okay.
Looking at the transparent treasure box which contains her envelopes of New
Year money, Susume tells her mother that right now, she is going there. Chapter 49: Yukichi’s phone is ringing.
It is a text message from Susume telling him that she’ll temporarily return to
the province to see her mother. She apologizes for it being sudden but she’ll
come back as early as possible so don’t worry about her. Upon arriving, Susume
thinks that there is still a lot of snow here and good thing she wore her
boots. Yasuo sees her and greets her that it has been a long time and she
suddenly came back. Susume explains that it is because her mother has just
returned back to the country. Yasuo says is that so, and he asks if it is still
winter break in Tokyo schools. Susume makes up an alibi that it is her school’s
foundation day. Yasuo believes it and she is glad that he’s simple[-minded]. He
suggests that she come to school for a visit. She tries to protest but he tells
her that it is okay for everyone would want to see her. He goes off after
telling her that he’ll go and fetch her tomorrow. While she thinks that she
doesn’t want it to be grand, her mother sees her. She says that she is
wondering why Susume hasn’t come home yet and it turns out she is still at the
station, and she might catch a cold.
At home, while depressed Susume is
lying her head on the table, her mother prepares their food and keeps talking
on her own. Her mother is telling her that in the end, it is at one’s own home
that one is at ease. Even if she is already used to life at that side but one’s
own house is still a special existence. Although she specially come home
because of her cousin Emi [美恵]’s
wedding and perhaps from today on, she can frequently come back though, that
would make her father quite lonely. Then, she calls out to Susume and asks what
she is staring off there, help her get this bowl outside. Susume says okay. She
wonders why her mother didn’t ask her why she came back. Seeing the familiar
things in her house, she felt that staying here would make like going to Tokyo
is all just fake. The next morning, Yasuo fetches sleepy Susume to go to school
with her. Her friends happily greet her. They tell her that she should have
said that she’s coming and Susume tells them that it is all of a sudden. She
doesn’t know for how long she is going to stay. They were quite lonely when she
left. Susume felt a bit shy that she became quite famous in class. A friend
suggests that today, they go to the newly opened Aeon [retail store/mall]
together. Someone excitedly says that it is finally built at a few blocks
nearby a few days ago. There is a new photo sticker booth and they can go
window shopping. Black haired friend asks if Susume is interested in this kind
of thing. They were surprised when Susume asks why, let’s go together. Susume
is puzzled by this that they exclaim that if she is Susume-chan who is
interested only in fish and shellfish that she would unexpectedly agree to
window shopping and photo sticker. Susume asks if it is a serious thing. They
say that it is. Susume explains that it is because she always goes out with her
Tokyo friends and if she were to say that she doesn’t want to go, they would
get angry. Her friend comments that it seems that Susume has changed even if
she doesn’t know what but obviously before, no matter going where, it is fine
for her to immediately go all by herself and just now about the photo sticker,
perhaps her tone in staying that, it seems a bit like, a bit adult-like
feeling. Just when the other girl says that it isn’t like she is saying that
she is bad before, another girl tells her not to say other things for it will
make things worse.
At home, Susume looks at her
cellphone and wonders about what they said that she changed. It has already
been three days since she sent a message to her uncle and she always keeps her
cellphone closed. She wonders if Yuyuka and the others are very worried about
her. Her mother calls out that dinner is ready so does she want to help out.
She asks Susume about how was going to her school after a long time. Susume
says that it is quite fun and they took photo sticker together. Her mother says
that is good, and was that in Aeon. She says yes. Seeing the pot and other
ingredients on the table, Susume asks if they are having oyster hot pot
tonight. Her mother says that it is Susume’s favorite. Susume exclaims that’s
great, she’ll eat her share for Obon festival and New Year. She asks if there
are pomelo and pepper. Her mother says yes, and does she really want to eat
oyster. Susume tells her that it isn’t like she specially like it but rather,
she hasn’t eaten it for such a long time. Her uncle doesn’t seem to like eating
it too much, and her seatmate Mamura also said that he hasn’t eaten oyster but
it appears that his family is quite rich so it isn’t like he is very poor.
Smiling, her mother says that’s great for it seems that she has been quite
happy in Tokyo, and this way, she can be at ease. She looks at her mother and
lowers her head. Susume says that it isn’t all happy things and this time,
something happened which was a shock to her so she is quite sad all by herself.
She didn’t say it first to her uncle and just immediately went back to her
home. “I..don’t know what I should do.” Her mother asks, is that so, but then,
her luggage is quite small [just one backpack]. “If you really don’t know what
you should do, you should have brought a bigger luggage and tell me that you
want to go overseas with me. Actually, in your heart, you already know what you
should do, right?” Susume blushes and thinks, mama. Ding dong. It is almost
8pm, who could it be? Susume goes to open the door. Just when she is asking who
it is, she sees Mamura. He angrily says that she unexpectedly didn’t go to
school for 3 days. “I already don’t feel like helping you in making classroom notes
[for her] again.” Susume looks nervous. Pointing at him, she says that it is an
illusion!? Mamura asks how is that possible and don’t point at him. They were
interrupted when Yuyuka angrily shouts at Taro Girl not to close her cellphone
when she’s all alone, and what if she got killed, what does she have to say to
that, you idiot. Tsurutani greets Susume and Kameyoshi says that her house is
big. Uncle Yukichi tearfully calls out Susume’s name. Susume is speechless.
Comment: I started summarizing this series because I thought
something interesting is going to happen and that interesting isn’t exactly
this. ^^; I’m not sure if I ought to be happy over how things ended up quite
unpredictably or not. Anyway, Shishio pretty much dropped the ball. The Mamura supporters
are probably rejoicing over this development. =P I guess the key to that is if
Susume would still go for Shishio or move on and her love life is back to
square one. At first, what Shishio is saying seems to make me somewhat
understand what he has to do because he doesn’t want her to sacrifice things
for him which I think is a proof of like/love contrary to what he says, but
then, he admitted that he is just running away so..^^; Aside from it hurts to
be told that he doesn’t like her, I think it is a bit belittling to be told she
doesn’t know that it is like. Of course, because of the things that Mamura said
and did in these chapters, it shows who the better guy is. Susume’s mother is
quite understanding of Susume to give her space and then, hinting what she
should do when Susume somewhat opened up. It is nice that Mamura came to see
her after being missing for three days and it is a nice surprise that her
friends and uncle also came to see her, too. ^^ I guess Mamura would know the
taste of oyster soon. ^^ Scans by all★wink汉化组
Word of the day:
We need each other to get where God wants us to go. ~ from
Our Daily Bread.