Kimi ni Todoke [Chapter 95]

After Kent went with Ayane behind the school building, she bluntly tells him that they break up. He comments that is quite straight to the point when he thought that she’ll lay the groundwork first although he already anticipated what she’ll say. Ayane is surprised. Then, he asks her for them to do it all over again. He likes her so if they start all over again from scratch, probably this time.. After looking surprised, Ayane tells him no, she couldn’t do it, for even if he said that she’s ‘awkward’, even if he says that it is okay for her to be like this, but she doesn’t want to continue like this, hating herself without end, forever pretending. She hates herself being like that and she wants to break away from the her, who is like that. She didn’t do so before because she is afraid, cunning, too dependent on others but she doesn’t want to keep on depending. She wants to go to Tokyo alone. Even if she were to flunk the exam and perhaps fail, or even regret it, but she seriously want to try by depending on her own strength. Kent asks if she’ll still break up with him even if he goes to Tokyo. She says yes. He asks if it is the same even if he suggests a different place [/go abroad]. She says yes for it has no meaning if it is not by herself. Ayane thinks that is her own reason and she must now clearly say these meaner words.

She apologizes for not being able to like him, and not having the same feelings as he has for her. While Kent looks at her earrings, Ayane apologizes for not being able to treat going steady with him equally with what she wanted to do. Ayane thinks that she couldn’t pay him back [/reciprocate it], she one-sidedly got what Kent gave, [yet] minded her own business and forged ahead. It would be good to be together with him, and have the same kind of feelings. Kent sadly smiles and asks if she regrets going steady with him. Ayane says that perhaps, she shouldn’t have gone steady with him but it is the first time someone valued her (and she felt that she took advantage of it) but she had fun and is very happy (she wants to pay back his feelings for her, since it made her happy and made her want to go steady with him. Her feelings at that time is serious and totally real). She says that it’s great to be able to go steady with him so she didn’t regret going steady with him. Kent recalls talking with Shouta asking why Ayane doesn’t have self-confidence and what should he do for her to open her heart to him. He obviously supported her, valued her, etc. Ayane is surprised when Kent says that his existence has meaning.

He tells her that they break up. He is foolish for he should have known that ‘want to like[/love]’ doesn’t make the other person like [/fall in love]. After thinking and analyzing a lot of things since then, he had witnessed all sorts of Ayane expressions and he likes the Ayane who would complain[/retorting] nonstop but he had sealed off the her who is like that. Ayane shakes her head sideways in disapproval but Kent says that he was the one who made her not say about the college stuff, and closed her mouth. Ayane tries to protest that it isn’t so, she is afraid that she won’t dare say it when it is obviously an important thing. Kent tells her that she is nice. She protests again that isn’t true. He insists that she is for she would seriously comply with what he said. He starts to ‘brainwash’ her by repeating that she is nice since he is the one who didn’t notice it, made her unable to speak up, forcing his wishful thinking on her, etc..and she is indeed very nice. He tells her not to forget and firmly remember that he had already deeply and sincerely liked her so she must remember that. Teary-eyed, he tells her that afterwards, she must find someone whom [she’ll] really like. [<- I think this is a typo on the Chinese scanlation since in Chinese, he said, ‘I must find someone whom really like’. It was ‘I’ instead of ‘you’, which doesn’t make sense here since..] Ayane says okay.

She starts to sob and kept on apologizing. She is sorry that she is mean until the end, she obviously doesn’t usually cry yet she is crying in front of him. Kent says but then, she is crying because of him. Kent smiles and says that he’s happy, going steady with her and for her to cry because of him. So..in the end.. He makes a cute pose but Ayane just looks at him. He starts telling her that she should be laughing over that. He mentions about something about her seeing Sawako at that time.[?] Ayane exclaims who would remember that idiotic thing. They both smile and held hands. Kent tells her that he is happy that she smiled and cried for him..and always until the end, wore the earrings for him to see. He’s happy to be able to go steady with her. Later on, Kent climbs up the stairs to see Shouta. Shouta asks if he is okay. Kent smiles and says that he basically planned to persist on but he suffered a fatal blow but girls generally won’t say the real reason during a break up, right? Shouta says that he isn’t sure of that. Kent says that generally, it is abrupt that it would baffle someone, anyway, he couldn’t explain it to him, and afterwards, he always won’t know so.. [<- probably mean that Shouta won’t be able to understand since Sawako won’t be dumping him]

Kent says that Ayane wasn’t sudden, she told him the full reason for breaking up with him. He asks if Shouta remembers when he mentioned, well, Ayane had already showed and opened her heart to him. Recalling how he told Ayane to remember that he had deeply liked her, Kent mutters that she ought to have a bit of self-confidence. Shouta says that he’s a good guy. Teary-eyed, Kent let out a laugh and says that he is really a good guy. Shouta says that if Kent wants to be alone, he’s going ahead, but if Kent wants someone to listen to him say everything that is in his mind, he’s here. Kent asks if there is a girl who’ll willingly lend her chest for him to lean on. Shouta is going to bid him goodbye when Kent says that he cannot find a girl today, so that will be for tomorrow. So, Shouta listens and says, ‘okay’ as Kent kept on talking about Ayane cried because of him, and he realize what love is..letting go is also a kind of love. Flustered Ayane arrives at the faculty room and tells Pin that she is going to cancel the recommendation, she is going to join the high school exam to get into J University. Pin says that even if he told her before to regret, but a person who doing one’s best to strive hard can rally on [/get back on track]. Gambatte! [Do your best] She says, yes. As she walks home, Ayane removes the earrings. While crying, she looks up the bright sky and thinks that she’ll strive hard.

Comment: Ah, the irony..it is at the last moment when she went straight to the point and tell him her real feelings. I can only sweatdrop when they start saying ‘you’re nice, no, you’re nice’ and ‘I made you like this, no, it is because of me that..’ Basically, it seems to just make the other feel good and not go into self-blame. Kent pushed it a little further by giving her an indirect pep talk for her to have a bit more self-confidence. Thankfully, he finally got it and realized that this relationship is doomed so he better let go which is the best for both. I guess, it also shows how much he loved her because after all that has happened, he will want to be with her. Of course, in a different perspective, that is being really stupid and pathetic. Anyway, the relationship ended on a good note with no hard feelings and sad smiles on their faces. They can just chalk that up as a productive experience to do better next time and hopefully, find the right one for them. So, Ayane is finally going to do what she really wants. I’m puzzled though since when did Kent and Shouta became good friends? Maybe Shouta is like Ayane..he is just being nice to Kent so he is doing that. ^^; Anyway, that arc is finally over so what’s left are two more couples dealing with the college separation thing. Hehe, maybe one would stay together, while the other will temporarily separate since this one has already separated permanently. Scans by 夜莺工作室

Word of the day:

God will guide us through all our detours and lead us where He wants us to go. ‘We seek Your guidance, Lord, but we understand that our path won’t always be without challenges. Help us to trust You through the detours—knowing that You have our best interests and Your honor at heart.’ ~ Our Daily Bread