Kono Oto Tomare [Chapter 38]

Narration: “Not long after that competition ended, I heard THAT CHILD has been driven away from Houdzuki Group.” Doujima says, “But of course, after all, she did that kind of thing. Right now, the entire Houdzuki Group is in turmoil. But, for us, this is an absolutely good opportunity. After all, that Houdzuki Group’s successor had left. *smiles at expressionless Akira* That position is for you to sit, Akira! Basically, the Houdzuki Group doesn’t have any strength. It can only depend on the daughter and only that. Right now, there is a vacuum in Houdzuki Group. So, let’s totally annex the entire Houdzuki Group then Tsubaki Group will take over it.” Akira just says, it is as you say. Narration: “What’s with that? How come they don’t understand? After brother left, the Tsubaki Group always had a vacuum. *sinking into the darkness* Up to this day, how should I look at playing koto? How should I confront koto from here on? Ah ah, I’m so tired. It’s enough, anything will do. If talented people would gradually leave koto, then how come I’m still persistent like this. How painful. How painful. I already don’t care what—..

..*suddenly there is light with Satowa saying that right now, she joined a high school koto club, then, she kneeled down to borrow the 17 string* -what club..? Totally destroying the formidable family background and perfect future. What’s with that. You’re someone who treated koto seriously so what had come over you--.. *some sparkles as Satowa passes by her then Akira turns around to reach for the light* I only want to know you who had abandoned everything at the back of your head, not even sparing to make a complete mess of everything that surrounds you, after everything, what thing can you also attain in your hand?” End flashback. Akira tells Satowa that she only wants to know of its value and that’s all there is to it. Satowa looks slightly surprised. Then, Akira says, “—what. I’m sorry, my joke seems to have gone overboard. *stands up to leave* Please forget it.” As Akira turns to leave, Satowa plays something on the koto. On the verge of tears, Akira thinks that ‘its value’ with only one sound, more content—-

Then, her darkness holds her and says, “It isn’t necessary for you to GO LISTEN to it. It isn’t necessary for you to go and understand. You already DO NOT NEED ‘LIGHT’. ANYWAY, you also no longer have the STRENGTH to go and ACCEPT IT.” And, Akira quietly walks away. Satowa looks at Akira and recalls being told of making everything around her into a mess. Meanwhile, Sane suddenly stops playing. He thinks that from the start just now, he always stops in the same place and obviously he wants to quickly catch up to Chika’s level. Slightly flustered, he asks Chika how this part is played. Chika says how it is played.. Chika demonstrate it to him and says, ‘like this’. Sane couldn’t understand it. He asks Chika if there is some trick to it. Chika says that he would want to know it. Sane says that he’s really useless. This irks Chika that he shouts, “Ha!!?” Looking at the music sheet, Sane thinks that it is no good, Chika is the type who depends on feeling when playing that he totally cannot consult him. He glances at Akira and asks her to please teach him.

Meanwhile, Suzuka tells Takezou that he still has work to do so he’ll go ahead, then he’ll leave the rest to him. Takezou says that it feels that lately, he would only watch and not do anything at all. Suzuka laughs and says anyway, there’s nothing he can do, so they go and properly practice. Takezou calls out to him to wait but Suzuka already left. He thinks that he really doesn’t understand what Suzuka is thinking. At the math prep room, Suzuka sits and watches a video on his laptop computer. At the side are multiple DVDs on how to play the koto. Back in the club, Akira tells Sane to stop. Sane groans for even if his brain already understood it but his hand has no way of catching up with it. Akira says that is very normal for it is impossible for it to catch up that quickly. She notices Sane looking at Chika before saying, one more time. Akira recalls how she always tried to catch up to her brother. At Shizu’s place, Kouta is lying on the floor and groans. He is extremely tired. Sitting on the floor, aghast Hiro exclaims that she’s so tired..!! Takezou asks if the two of them are okay. Hiro says how can she say it, it is probably caused by concentrating a lot more than before.

Sitting up, Kouta says that it isn’t so, it is his fault..because he is always playing the rhythm wildly.. “I’m sorry, after all, Tenkyuu is the hardest one I had played until now..hu hu..From today on, I will properly live together with the metronome.” Teary-eyed Hiro hugs Kouta and shouts what he is saying, the two of them are going to do their best right. As they cheer each other on, Chika is practicing in another room. He plays a bit then shouts in frustration that it is because of what that woman said that caused him to mind too much that ambiguous sound. He angrily shouts how is he going to pow [punch?/deal with] this. Sane reprimands him for being too noisy. He tells Chika that this is inevitable, after all, he just started playing the 17 string so his fingers are still not used to it. Looking at his hand, Chika curses. Then, he looks at Satowa. He suddenly grabs her wrist and touches her middle finger. This made Satowa blush really red. She pulls away her hand and shouts what he is doing all of a sudden. Chika calmly says no, he is only thinking of feeling the thickness of her finger’s callus.

Satowa shouts that even if it is like that, do not touch as he pleases, idiot!! Pervert!! Chika is shock over being called a pervert then he recalls the accidental kiss on the forehead. He gloomily wonders if she is still brooding about that. Then, he asks if she is okay for it seems that she’s quite docile today. After looking surprised, she tells him that her throat doesn’t feel too comfortable. He says throat.. He takes out something from his pocket and says, here. He gives her a strawberry-flavored candy. After looking surprised, she says that he really likes strawberries that he would unexpectedly carry one. Slightly blushing Chika calls her annoying and does she have any objections. She blushes and says, thank you. Just then, Shizu calls out to Satowa and tells her that she got the DVD from a teacher she knows and it is the one she told her about before. Surprised Satowa asks is that true. Holding the DVD, Satowa thanks her for it’s a great help. Chika asks her what is it. She tells them that it’s Akira’s performance that got her the first place in that competition. “I have this.. ‘I must listen to it’ feeling.” Chika shouts that he also wants to listen to it. Sane and others want to listen to it together.

Takezou apologizes to Shizu and asks if they can borrow her television. Shizu sighs and says it’s fine for anyway, they are using everything as they please. Takezou thanks him. They all sit in front of the television. Sane says that his heart is beating fast, for it seems that there is also chanting. Michi says that he basically couldn’t imagine how that person is chanting. Hiro says that after all, she got first place so it should be very amazing, right? Holding the remote control, Takezou says that he’s going to play it. And it was announced that Akira is going to play, ‘Water’s Hentai’. In the morning, Suzuka arrives in the clubroom and thinks that compared to the usual, they are starting quite early. He opens the door and looks surprised. Satowa sees Akira at the shoe lockers area. Satowa looks at Chika’s candy then holds it tight. Noticing her, Akira asks her what’s up. Satowa apologizes for there is something she wants to talk with her before she goes to the club. “I have listened to your ‘Water’s Hentai’ *bows* I’m truly very sorry..! *this stuns Akira that she asks wh..at*...

...I..from the start, I thought that you have some kind of attempt [/plot]..type of thing..but after hearing your performance, I felt very ashamed to have that kind of thinking. --..it is truly really a very remarkable performance. It is the first time I heard that kind of performance wherein one had sincerely faced the piece and confronted the koto. Facing someone who can play that way--..” Asuka asks her to please stop talking and please raise up her head. “If you were to continue on, it would make me all the more ashamed and unable to show my face [/dispirited] so please, do not say anymore.” As Akira walks past her, Satowa turns around and says, th..that.. Without facing her, Akira asks why she did that kind of thing AT THAT TIME? This puzzles Satowa. Akira says that that she has the strength to become number one but she deliberately played some other piece then got disqualified. “Is this to become very eye-catching? Are you in an amused [/playing around] mood when you participated in that competition? *Satowa says she isn’t..* ..after that competition, I had been thoroughly gossiped about. *Her darkness repeats to her, ‘Really pitiful’ ‘Losing to a disqualified number one’..

...‘Truly pitiful’ ‘It’s really pitiful’.. unexpectedly using those kind of words* From today on, I totally do not want to hear any praise from your mouth.” After Akira walks a few steps, Satowa blurts out that she wants to get her mother back. Akira looks back at Satowa. While holding her skirt tight, Satowa says that it is because of too much pressure that her mother gradually became someone else.. “At that time, her eyes no longer have me and my voice couldn’t be transmitted to her. So, I was only just having a tantrum at that huge stage in wanting to say, ‘Mama, look at me’. Just like..a small child. *Akira looks surprised upon seeing Satowa on the verge of tears.* But the result was, not only did I hurt mama, I also made everything a mess. –no matter which one, there is no good direction where I can expand [/go to]. At that time, even if I wasn’t disqualified, I believe that you will still get the first place. Even if you said that there’s no need for you to coach me, but in fact, there is still so many things that I can learn from you. So, I came to once again ask you to coach [us].”

Akira thinks that actually, there’s no need to ask for she also knows THAT KIND OF PERFORMANCE is not at all playing around nor can it be played with any sort of hasty attitude. “Ah ah, that’s right. This child is still a high school student after all. She is just about the same age as I at that time when I can only depend on brother’s protection.” [<- when their parents passed away] Slightly flustered, Akira starts walking towards Satowa when her darkness grabs her foot and reminds her, ‘By the way, what was the piece that the first placer performed?’ *the darkness start enveloping Akira* ‘Really PITIFUL, Akira-chan’ ‘Yearning day and night to be number one yet in a blink of an eye, it turned to smoke.’ ‘Obviously you spend TWO YEARS for it’ ‘In the end, you cannot surpass your brother, ALL YOUR LIFE’ ‘Really pitiful’. Her darkness asks, “Where are you going? Wanting to escape from this pitch-black abyss where you cannot even see your fingers, huh? Even if there is really a so-called exit out of this abyss, in any case, what would appear in front of you is definitely that constant wall that is forever impossible for you to climb over.”

Akira looks with dread above and the darkness swallows her up again. Akira tells Satowa that she practiced for Water’s Hentai as if her life depended on for two years. “But those two years were simply shattered by just one syllable. (It is already enough) You still think that I can teach you something? (My struggle stops at this point)” After Akira left, Satowa leans on the lockers. She recalls Akira saying that it was simply shattered by her single syllable and her mother saying that her koto is simply a lethal weapon. Satowa mutters, “Indeed, my playing is indeed..” She looks at the strawberry candy on her hand. She opens up the wrapper and eats the candy. Then, she looks determined. At the faculty room, Suzuka notices Akira at the side. He asks what is it. Akira apologizes for saying this when obviously he is racking his brains in order to get an application to compete. “But, I can no longer aid the koto club. *Shizu looks surprised* From today on, I’m quitting from the duty of coaching the koto club.”

Comment: I do wonder if she is quitting after what Satowa said or she was thinking of doing so since she couldn’t find any value in the club. Perhaps, being with them reminds her too much of her struggle to catch up to her brother and how it all ended in failure as if it is all futile. Hopefully, Satowa doesn’t blame herself for this. Akira’s darkness/trauma is really bad that she had practically given up hope. This must be the first time for her to actually quit doing something. I’m don’t think her grandmother told her to quit so but perhaps, this is the first time she is going to do something based on what she wants. It seems that she is bothered too much with Satowa being a genius that being with her made her feel smaller than she already felt. She must have somewhat think that Satowa is patronizing her but then, even if it was somewhat clarified, Akira’s darkness had prevailed over her. Since there are moments when there was light in her darkness, perhaps, someone has to give her that hope again or at least, make her not to fixated over what happened and affirm that she really did a great performance back then contrary to what the other people told her.

Maybe the other club members who had seen her performance especially since not all of them are talented in koto. Something like a reason for her to keep on persevering and everything or at least, help boost her self-confidence. A reason on why she’ll keep on playing even if she cannot be the genius like her brother or Satowa. It’s hard to be a genius for everyone thinks that being a genius, one already knows everything. Even if Satowa isn’t being arrogant about it, it rubs the frustrated people the wrong way especially if there is some comparison from other people. In a way, to be with someone talented, it can either inspire or frustrate one depending on one’s attitude. Chika and others have a positive attitude about it whereas Satowa’s mother and Akira have a negative attitude about it. Anyway, I’m not too sure if they would let Akira quit after they had realize how good she is and she even if she is difficult to deal with, she is a good teacher for her pointers are quite helpful. They did mention that they can find some other teacher but is it that easy to find someone else and will do it for free. For now, Suzuka is still catching up with his knowledge regarding koto. Hm..but for the mangaka to give us that much flashback on Akira, she might be an important character and will become part of the club. Anyway, it’s nice how Chika’s candy was able to give Satowa courage and perk her up after that encounter. Scans by 二次元秘店汉化

Quote of the day:

The smallest light still shines in the darkest night. ~ Our Daily Bread